thai melon salad

last week, larry and i had a really

lovely day. it was the day after my

birthday and we both took off from

work. i drank coffee in bed and, later,

we ate lunch outside, very close

to the ocean. we bought fig vinegar

from an olive oil shop and sat on the

boardwalk with our legs dangling over

the sand. we went to see the help,

which i've been hoping to see in the theatre,

since finishing the book last november.

in between the beach and the movies,

we stopped at the book store, where i was

given a really great gift: unlimited time

to look through as many cookbooks as i

wanted. and, truthfully, that's quite a gift.

as much as i love cookbooks, i rarely buy

them. and when, i do, it's a specific book

that i've had my eye on for a while. rarely,

do i just plant myself in front

of the shelves and read.

ultimately, i left with three - two baking

books that, it turns out, i actually had wanted,

but had forgotten about,

and a third, cooking in the moment

by andrea reusing.

to be honest, i keep picking up and putting down

the last one. i would decide that i was not

going to keep it and then i'd turn one last page

and see a recipe, like the one for

black sesame sauce.

in that case, i read the recipe twice

and thought, ok, i know

how to make this. as i shut the book,

i noticed a page reading

garlic and crab fried rice.

this happened several times.

ultimately, it was the kale panini and

salt preserved chilies that cinched

my decision.

that night, i got back in bed and read

cooking in the moment from cover to cover.

and, in spite of my curiosity about the

recipes above, i knew that the first dish i

would be making was the

spicy melon salad with peanuts and mint.

it uses fish sauce. and a lot of it.

need i say more?

and, then, you should have seen me the next

day, standing at the grocery store, staring at

the melons, trying to channel my melon

knowledge. is it the santa claus melon that's

really sweet or is it the canary? are any melons

really dark orange? or yellow? what will happen

if i add watermelon? will the color run?

ultimately, i was lucky.

a melon expert - or at least he seemed

that way to me - helped me pick three

small, sweet flavorful globes. he was spot

on. (except when the next day i realized

that i somehow had two green-fleshed melons,

but i'm very over it.)

after a search for my melon baller -

a tool i'm pretty sure i haven't used since

culinary school - i cracked open the melons

on sunday, prepared to make a cooling

summer salad for a hot summer night.

except it was sunday.

when there was lightening.

and thunder.

and rainstorms that made me fear

for our basement.

so, i scooped melons for a cool evening.

and, that's ok, too.

the melons were incredibly sweet,

floral and juicy. i pulled small

and large balls from

all three:

the honeydew,

the crenshaw and

the galia.

(as for the remaining melon in

each half, i used a spoon to separate

them from their skins, put all three

into the same container and have

been adding the pieces and sweet

juice to my smoothies in the morning.

it's been a nice change.)

i whisked together the juice of two limes,

a few glugs from a new bottle of fish sauce -

i forgot how powerful a brand new bottle

could be - a squeeze of agave and an

unfortunately, mild, chopped

red fresno chile pepper.

the dressing was powerful.

slightly spicy, slightly sweet,

tangy and salty. i tossed it over

the melons, took a premature bite

and knew that i would love this dish.

simplified, it reminded me of a

sweet green papaya salad.

the recipe said to let it the mixture

sit for at least 45 minutes or up to

several hours. we went for three.

before serving, i topped it with

shreds of mint and salted peanuts

and we dug in.

the marinating liquid is

unbelievably bold.

but, the melons, when picked up with

a fork, instead of scooped,

gave a significantly more subtle delivery.

i don't know how many fruit salads are eaten

with a spoon,

but it would be a shame to leave all that

limey-fish sauciness on the bottom

of the bowl.

team spoon. all the way.

regardless.

this salad slash side dish slash

potential dessert is everything i look

for in a recipe.

it's different, so it won't see itself

coming and going. but, more importantly,

it's sweet and salty and soft and crunchy.

it's slightly spicy and kind of tangy

and would be perfect on

a hot night spent outside.

it was a recipe that gave me

reassurance. it made me feel justified

about buying the cookbook. and, about

making larry amuse himself in the bookstore

while i dealt with my indecisiveness.

and, it made me find my melon baller.

worth it all around.

thai melon salad

adapted from cooking in the moment

i followed this recipe pretty closely. the only real changes were using agave instead of sugar and using a serrano chile pepper and a red fresno chile pepper, because neither were very spicy. with a spicy pepper, i would have stuck to one. i also chose not to measure the peanuts - just grabbed a handful and chopped.

i agree that this salad should only sit for a couple hours. by the next day, the melons had expelled a lot of their own liquid and mellowed the flavor of the dish significantly.

2-3 assorted melons

2 large, juicy limes, juiced

1/4 cup fish sauce

1 tablespoon agave

1 spicy chile pepper, chopped

10 mint leaves

1 small handful roasted and salted peanuts

halve melons. using melon baller, scoop melon into balls, transferring to a measuring cup as you scoop. measure 4 cups melon. transfer melons to mixing bowl.

in liquid measuring cup, measure 1/4 cup lime juice. whisk in fish sauce, agave and chile pepper. pour lime juice mixture over melons; toss to combine. cover; chill 45 minutes, or up to several hours.

when ready to serve, rip mint leaves into smaller pieces. chop peanuts.

using a slotted spoon, transfer melon to serving platter or bowls. top with spoonfuls of marinade. garnish with mint and chopped peanuts.

for love. and peanut butter pie.

over six years ago,

we were visiting colleen and christian

when i got the kind of call you

never want to get. not ever.

and not in the house of your

friend's boyfriend, no matter how wonderful

they are. it was my mother,

telling me that my ex-boyfriend - the

ex-boyfriend, who i dated for six years,

starting one month into our freshman

year of college - had died. we hadn't

spoken since one month after our

break up. to me - to everyone - the horrible

accident came out of nowhere.

had we still been a couple, i'm not

sure how i would have managed. if i'm being

honest, i still don't think i've fully recovered.

from that phone call.

from his accident.

from knowing that even though we would never have

been remembering together anymore,

i am now the only one who can know our memories.

--

to say that i was an immense worrier before

his death, would be fair. i have always been

fearful of things large and small.

but after that, everything was elevated.

i dream about him, about trying to stop him from

stepping into an elevator or leaving the room.

when i wake up, i panic for my family.

when i haven't heard from or can't reach

my mom,

my dad,

my sisters,

my grandmother,

larry,

i hate myself for it, but i obsess over the worst.

i hate myself for allowing myself to think things

that are not doing anyone any good.

my mind is set to catastrophe.

--

on monday morning,

the first thing that i saw were three

tweets, in a row, with the message that

a food blogger had lost her husband

unexpectedly to a heart attack the day before.

i follow jennifer perillo on twitter.

i read her blog.

i've known her as an active member of food52.

the closest i've ever been to her, was making

her homemade manicotti for larry last winter.

but, when i saw the tweet, i was unable to focus

on anything else. i drove to work shaken and

all day my mind wandered back to jennie and

her two daughters. when larry got home from work,

i tried to tell him what happened

and shocked both of us

when i started crying uncontrollably.

when i calmed, i hugged him. hard.

then, i told him about jennie and her

two young daughters and how we really don't

know each other, but through her tweets,

i knew about her date nights and that i've

been meaning to try her lentil-ricotta meatballs

and that the hardest thing for me - and i've come

to find out, others - to see, was that her last tweet

before she lost her husband, was about canning

marinara and getting ready for their vacation

to cape cod in 13 days. i felt for jennie in a way

that i did not know i could feel for someone

who i did not personally know.

jennie posted last week,

talking about her husband in a way i believe

few of us would have the courage to do. and,

in a time when i think many of us who know

her peripherally, felt helpless, jennie asked for

us to make her husband, mikey's, favorite dessert,

a peanut butter pie, on friday, to honor

him and those who we love the most in our lives.

and, so i did.

i made the recipe exactly as it was

written. i tried not to sweat it when my crust

crumbled a little into the melted chocolate

layer, knowing that was not the point. the point

was that even on friday, five days later, jennie, her

husband and her daughters were still on the forefront

of my mind and, because, my family was even closer. i

made it for the people who i love and have loved.

and, i served it to my family tonight.

i told them the story of our dessert and

about the hundreds of food bloggers who came together

to make peanut butter pies for our families, and in

our hearts, for a family who many of us do not know.

as we ate, i showed them this video

that has brought me to tears each

time i've watched it. and, we talked about showing

the people that you love, that you love them, always.

--

for the pie recipe, to see more about the

amazing food community that rallied or

to learn more about jennifer's strength,

visit in jennie's kitchen.

tomorrow, i'm making a peanut butter pie

and, you can, too.

here's why.

grilled calamari and nectarine salad

i'm pretty sure it's not cool to admit,

but i love my reality tv. and even less cool

to admit: i'm a fan of the food network.

are there food celebrities who i cannot stand?

yes.

are there recipes that make me

stand up and yell at the tv, accusing the

chefs of misleading the not-so-knife-savvy

that they can chop two onions and 3 cloves

of garlic in the time that it takes a tablespoon

of olive oil to warm itself?

yes.

are there times

that larry has to listen to 5 minutes of my

amazement that a chef will cut an avocado

and then tell us to use it as a garnish when

the stew will not be ready to be served for thirty minutes?

yes!

but, i'm still a fan of the food network.

i love that they've been a huge part of the

cooking movement, inspiring people to

get back to the kitchen, or more likely,

getting them into the kitchen for the first time.

i believe in a network that makes food fun

and cooking less of a chore and is trying,

very slowly, but surely to offer up a bit

of diversity, in the dishes and the chefs

they are offering.

and, i loved when they bit the bullet

and offered up their form of reality tv,

several years ago, with the

next food network star. i have watched

every season, and often - as is very unusual

with most reality television - my early

pick has won. (fingers crossed that the

streak continues - susie and jeff,

i'm pulling for you two.)

last year was no exception.

i loved aarti from the beginning,

as much for her fun personality

as my recent interest in indian food.

and, she herself was a food

blogger. the day after she won,

my mom texted me and said,

already scheduled the dvr to record

aarti's first show!

while i'll admit that it's rare,

these days that i'm watching tv on saturday

mornings, i'm thrilled when i am home and

am able to turn on the tv in time to catch

an episode. i always learn something or

get an idea for my own food.

and last weekend, when i caught less

than 5 minutes of her show before having

to run out to meet my family for breakfast,

that was all it took to decide what i was

making for dinner the following night.

she was pulling nectarine wedges off

a grill pan and adding them

to a bed of lemony greens, along with

garlicky squid. it was the kind of salad

i would have ordered without a second thought

on any day in a restaurant.

but, knowing that it had been nearly 100

degrees for days and that the last thing

either of us really wanted to do was

serious sunday night-cooking, this salad

seemed inevitable. in the best possible way.

while we have a grill that we use regularly,

we really wouldn't have wanted to head outside. i was so glad that

the recipe actually said to use a grill pan. sometimes,

i need a little pat on the back, a little that's-ok. and right

there, telling me that i could use a grill pan, that i didn't have

to go through the trouble of threading the teeny squid

onto soaked skewers and cook the nectarines in a basket,

that made the recipe extra appealing.

and here's the funny thing: when i cook a dish

for the first time, i obsess about it until

it's on the plate in front of me. i think about

what it will taste like, what it will look like,

if i should change the chives to scallions or

use almonds instead of pine nuts. i think about

it as i'm cooking it and still, i find myself making

changes even when i should be finished

and am one second away from

tossing it into a bowl.

but, with this recipe, there was none of that.

ok, maybe it's more fair to say there was very little

of that. i guess the truths are this:

the salad looked good.

i guess, as it turns out, i trust aarti

(i've yet to see her cut an avocado too early).

none of the ingredients were so tempting to mess with.

so, i bought the squid.

(coolest thing: the store divided the squid between

two trays: bodies and tentacles so i was able to ask

for a 50/50 ratio). i picked up two nectarines.

i grabbed arugula, a lemon and a few very juicy limes.

and that was it. the rest i had at home.

i prepared the ingredients, staying pretty close to

recipe with just a few tiny alterations. first -

and it pains me to say this - i had a lot of trouble

reading the recipe. several times, the recipe writer

in me wanted to stop, rewrite the recipe and then

make it. so, ultimately, i think i made everything

the way that it was intended, but i can't be sure.

also, there was this: the recipe called for

a couple pinches of a couple different spices and

when it comes to seasoning, i always believe

in going (carefully) bolder. and, because

we were eating this as our meal,

i added an extra nectarine.

but, i don't want you to think that i have any

complaints: we loved this salad. it was garlicky

and citrus-laced and, even with the extra spice,

still delicately kissed with garam masala.

but, all of the flavors managed to share the spotlight

without competing. the nectarines were really

amazing on the grill and the calamari, cooked

exactly as instructed, were tender and lightly

charred and easily the centerpiece of the dish.

it was the kind of summer salad, that as i was

eating it, i was thinking about the next time

i could make it. and it's the kind of dish, that

as i was writing this, larry came up and said,

that was really good. i hope we can make it again.

it's the reason that i refuse to apologize for

my love of the food network and my love of reality

tv. without either, i never would have found

aarti party. or, this salad. or, these recipes:

spicy baked onions rings

spaghetti with turkey meatballs

whole grain pasta with spinach and goat cheese

mediterranean squid stew with pearl onions, artichokes and olives

rosemary focaccia

grilled calamari and nectarine salad

adapted from aarti party

as i said, i made a few changes to this recipe, but nothing major: i upped the number of nectarines from 1 to 2 and i used a good amount of garam masala compared to what was called for, in the marinade. a couple changes that i may make next time: i was not sure how necessary the lemon juice was (it's tossed with arugula), because i thought that the lime-garlic marinade was substantial enough to carry the dish. i'm including it below, so that you can make the decision. i also, loved (loved, loved) the tentacles and i may be 100% tentacles the next time around.

ok, when i just went to write up this recipe, it turns out that i may have left out the cumin. honestly, i don't remember putting it in, but i know that i read everything several times before i started cooking, so maybe i did? (i'm sure this is instilling a lot of trust.) i'm not putting it the ingredient list because i really don't think i used it, but if you want to add it in, use 1/2 teaspoon.

3 cloves garlic, peeled

2 juicy limes, halved

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus extra for grilling

2 generous pinches tumeric

1/2 teaspoon garam masala

2-3 pinches red chile flakes

kosher salt and ground black pepper

2 large firm, but ripe, nectarines, pitted and cut into 6ths

1 pound baby squid, cleaned (tubes and tentacles) and patted dry

4 really large handfuls arugula, washed and dried

1/2 lemon, juiced

on cutting board, very finely chop garlic; sprinkle generously with kosher salt. let sit 5 minutes; using the back of your knife, mash the garlic to form a paste. place garlic in the bowl; juice the lime into the bowl. add the cumin (if using), tumeric, garam masala and red pepper flakes; whisk in the olive oil. season with salt and pepper.

transfer 3 tablespoons garlic marinade to small mixing bowl; add squid, tossing to coat. set aside.

heat grill pan over high heat. drizzle nectarines lightly with olive oil.

place nectarines on grill; cook 1 minute on each side, or until grill marks appear. (for me, by the time i put all of the nectarines down, it was time to turn the first ones.) transfer nectarines to plate.

make sure that the grill pan is still very, very hot. remove the squid from the marinade, letting the excess marinade drip off (discard any marinade remaining in that bowl). place squid on the grill, one piece at a time. cook 6 minutes, turning once. (if you are worried that the squid is overcooking as i was, here's 2 tricks, one from aarti, one from me. from aarti: if the squid sticks, it's not ready. give it 30 more seconds. from me: take one off the grill pan and taste it.)

remove the squid from the marinade. using a sharp knife, cut bodies into rings. toss hot tentacles and rings with the remaining garlic marinade.

toss the arugula with the lemon juice. divide among plates; top with grilled nectarines, grilled squid and the marinade mixture, if desired.

snapshot: garlic scape butter

in a new job,

whether you've started with a

brand new business or are doing

the same thing in the same company

in a different place, like me, you're

always trying to find your way.

and that has definitely been me.

i've noticed that, i'm a bit different -

in several good ways, and some that

i'm working on. like this: i'm quieter.

i'm still getting to know everyone and

they're still getting to know the real me.

so, a few weeks ago, i think some people

had a shocking moment when i freaked out

(freaked!) after realizing that garlic scapes

were available and that i could buy as many

as i wanted for a very reasonable price.

it's true. when i was finished talking in a

run-on sentence about the tenafly farmer's market

and garlic scape pesto and looking everywhere for

more, i realized that i was not just having a conversation,

i was talking kind of loudly. and there was this,

somehow, i had gone from sitting to standing.

(clearly, if people want to get to know me,

they should wave an unusual piece of produce in

front of my face and watch what happens.)

when i got the scapes home, though, they sat

in the fridge for a while (ok, if you want the truth

there are still some in there. yes, i'm hanging my

head in shame.) i wanted to do something different

with them this time, but i could not figure out

what or how. then, i was driving home, thinking about

making garlic bread, and just like that:

garlic scape butter (and in turn, garlic scape bread)

popped into my head.

when i got inside, i pulled my

made up ingredients

out of the fridge

before even taking my pocketbook

off my shoulder.

i cut 4 garlic scapes into 2-inch pieces

and placed them into the bowl of the food processor;

i pulsed 5 or 10 times, until they were in tiny pieces,

before adding 1/4 cup of pecorino romano,

1/2 teaspoon black pepper, a couple generous pinches

of smoked paprika and 1 stick unsalted butter,

cut into large chunks. i let the food processor run

until everything was sort of smooth.

and i tasted it.

garlicky was an understatement. but, there was

no turning back at this point. i sprinkled in a touch

of kosher salt, whirled it around a few more times

and decided that i was committed.

so far, i've only spread it on lemon juice-drizzled,

bread and grilled it until it was nice and melty, which

i think is how this butter shines. i'm also sure i would

love it tossed with hot pasta, a bit of lemon and feta or

maybe used as a base for eggs, sunnyside-up.

i won't lie: it does need something

to temper its intense flavor.

but, as it goes with anything you're overly devoted to,

i've come to love this butter with bite. that doesn't mean

that if i made this again, or you were making it at home,

i'd be embarrassed to use only 3 garlic scapes.

that wouldn't make us wimps or shrinking violets.

it would just make us a bit...less in-your-face.

and, that's ok.

pickled cherries (times two)

i have never been a cherry person.

growing up, while all the other

kids were reaching for cherry

ice pops,

lollipops,

candies,

i held back because i always

knew the sour apple or grape

that i was hoping for was not

in danger of disappearing.

(oddly enough,

i had a conversation with my

sister this week about her

similar dislike of cherry starbursts.)

it wasn't until i was older

that i really understood that cherries -

fleetingly available, expensive, messy to eat cherries -

are lovely and fruity and offer the

very best of summer.

i hold true to my original belief -

i'm still not one for cherry flavored things.

but, apparently, i kind of love cherries.

last week, i, as many people i know,

came into a huge lot of cherries. i was torn

between eating them immediately or saving

and playing. ultimately, thanks to my work

schedule, i opted for the latter.

after a brief conversation with larry,

he asked if cherries could be pickled.

magic words. i recently told someone that

if i don't know what to do with a vegetable

lately, i pickle it or pesto it. i was not feeling

cherry pesto, and i was totally into making

the already tart cherries, ultra tangy.

i researched recipes and decided on something

i'm often guilty of - talking myself into making

something that i have a very good reason not to

make. (it requires a skill i don't think i can handle,

i can't find something that is vital to the recipe, but

make it anyway, or the worst

- and the culprit this time - convincing

myself that an ingredient i don't care for will be

delicious when utilized in this particular capacity.)

i haven't had five spice powder for years.

the last time i tasted it,

the mixture had been used to jazz up a sauce

for chicken. i wasn't crazy about. it was the star anise.

i'm just not a licorice person - hence my major issue

with fennel, anise and several other things.

but since then, i've sampled it in other dishes that

had not been so bad: larry's pho from mo pho,

a seafood dish on vacation, a dessert that's kind

of foggy in my memory.

when i saw a recipe that involved star anise,

i remembered the richness of the pho and i

decided to take a chance.

pickling the cherries was easy. larry poked

holes in their flesh as i mixed together the

brine of cinnamon sticks, star anise, black

peppercorns, red wine vinegar and brown sugar.

as it boiled, the house smelled delicious.

i poured the mixture over the cherries and let

them sit. an hour later, before leaving for

the evening, i sampled one. it reminded me of

something. when we returned home, i had a second

and it hit me: it tasted like medicine. and now

i had a whole big batch of medicinal cherries.

as i tried to go to sleep that night, my mind

wandered back and forth: why can't i sleep?

why did i think the star anise was a good idea?

why didn't i just go with a flavor profile

that i knew i liked? wasn't pickling cherries

risky enough? i will never be able to wake

up in the morning. i should have made them spicy!

the next night, i surveyed the chiles at the market.

i was not feeling jalapenos or serranos - and if i

had been, i have a stockpile in a pot on our deck (yay

for keeping something alive!) - nor, was i into

the other options. as i placed the habanero

into a bag, i was pretty sure i was crazy and

seriously sadistic when it came to these cherries.

at home, i tossed together the habanero, now

halved, cinnamon sticks, white

wine vinegar, palm sugar, left over

from the sriracha, and salt. i boiled the mixture

together and poked the cherries

(smarter this time - i used only a portion of my

remaining quantity). this time i notice that

when you poke holes in the cherries,

they make a mess. when the mixture

had boiled for a couple minutes and cooled

slightly, i poured it on top of the fruits

and while i was scared of the spice, i already

knew this batch was a winner.

the other ones? they're ok.

in fact, i can see how someone who

is not me would really enjoy them.

but, the spicy cherries? they're the ones

i regret not making more of - and sadly,

that's now what's on my mind late at night

when i really should be asleep.

pickled cherries (times two)

i'm including both recipes because i know that just because the first version is not my favorite, it doesn't mean it can't be yours. in both recipes, i poked the cherries about four times with a fork, a trick i learned from the internet. this makes it easier for the brine to infiltrate the cherries and helps the cherries to release their own juices into the brine.

star anise, black peppercorn and brown sugar pickled cherries

adapted from shesimmers.com

i played around a lot with this recipe, changing the peppercorns, opting for brown sugar (and less of it) and eliminating the bay leaf and the fennel seeds, just to name a few. i also halved the amount of cherries, used two-thirds of the vinegar and did not reduce the brine.

2 cups red wine vinegar

1/2 cup, plus 2 tablespoons granulated brown sugar

3 cinnamon sticks or 1 large cinnamon stick, broken into 3 pieces

2 pieces star anise

1 tablespoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon black peppercorns

1 1/4 pounds cherries

in small saucepot, combine vinegar, brown sugar, cinnamon sticks, star anise and kosher salt. rub the peppercorns between your hands as you add the to the pot. over high heat, bring to a boil; reduce heat and let simmer 5 minutes. remove from heat; let cool 10 minutes.

meanwhile, using fork, poke cherries 4 times. place in bowl. pour slightly cooled brine mixture over cherries, pressing on cherries to make sure they're all under the brine. let sit at room temperature 2 hours. cover bowl tightly or transfer to a cleaned glass jar with lids. chill in fridge.

habanero, cinnamon and palm sugar pickled cherries

i will not lie - these are spicy. but, they were nowhere near as spicy as i feared they would be when i opted to use the habanero. i used one very long cinnamon stick, which i think is equivilant to about 3 normal size cinnamon sticks. this is the same amount i used for the first cherries, but because i used a lot less vinegar, the cinnamon was significantly more prominent. and, opted for palm sugar, because i had it in the fridge, but i'm sure you could use whichever sugar you have in the house. oh, and one last thing, i used two cups of cherries, but i'm pretty sure i could have used at least 1/2 cup more, if not a full cup for the amount of brine i had.

these cherries were great in a salad with arugula, pickled onions and goat cheese.

1 1/3 cups white wine vinegar

3 cinnamon sticks or 1 very long cinnamon stick, broken into three pieces

1 habanero pepper, halved

1/4 cup palm sugar

1 tablespoon kosher salt

2 packed cups cherries

in small saucepot, combine vinegar, cinnamon sticks, habanero pepper, palm sugar and kosher salt. bring to a boil over high heat; reduce to heat to low and simmer 5 minutes. let cool 10 minutes.

meanwhile, using fork, poke each cherry 4 times. place cherries in a medium bowl. top with slightly cooled brine mixture, shaking slightly to make sure all the cherries are under the brine. let sit at least 2 hours at room temperature. transfer to a clean glass jar or cover bowl tightly. store in fridge.