how it comes to be

i tend to really think through

my dishes before making 

them. i may, for some reason

that i can't understand or explain,

decide to make a meal

wednesday, and then spend

sunday, monday and tuesday

thinking through the dish,

obsessively, trying

to really flesh out the 

best ingredients, best strategy,

best of everything, 

all the while, making

my way through the meals

the other three nights.

sometimes, the imaginary meal

stays in my head for weeks

before i finally make it into 

something real.

sometimes, the result is really

good like tofu parm

or this tuna sandwich.

other times, like the "hummus"

burgers that were a bust

and the cucumbers pickled

in apple cider vinegar

that i will never tell you about,

i really should have kept 

my creativity to myself.

but nevertheless, i plan it 

out and have a clear plan,

that interestingly enough,

i never mention to anyone.

i may, after all this thinking,

plan for heirloom tomatoes,

and then see grape tomatoes

and suddenly think, oh, that's better.

and i feel ok about it because

no one knows that wasn't THE plan.

or i may decide that i must have

tubes of squid for my made up meal, 

and then (like tonight),

be left completely confused and lost

in the middle of the store

when i realize they don't have 

any and i didn't have a backup plan.

in which case, i stop in my tracks,

turn to larry and 

demand that he tell me what he 

wants because i'm

uninspired. 

can't think anymore.

have the makings of too many meals in cart,

but no plan.

am not moving until i have a new meal to make.

too dramatic?

and that's the deal with this

blueberry salad.

i've been enamoured for years

by the watermelon and feta salads

that seem to pop up everywhere, 

may to june. i offered to make

one for memorial day a couple of 

weeks ago, but i was...turned down.

after that, i started thinking about what

other fruits would taste even

better next to salty feta,

and then, when i saw blueberries 

on sale,

the salad was born.

i spent a few days imagining

the salad, thinking that one

thing that the watermelon version

has going for it is that the melon

is a completely different texture,

while the soft berries wouldn't really

offer much resistance. 

i decided to add a toasted nut -

sweet pecans just sounded right.

to round out the mixture, i thought 

a small kick would

make the whole bowl come together.

and so, scallions were added.

as i sliced the scallions and carefully

cubed the feta, 

i had a feeling that this would

either be a huge hit

or a major disaster.

carrying on, i whisked together

a dressing, realizing i never actually

thought of the vinaigrette, and 

winging it from beginning

to end, kind of guessing that the

mixture should

be tangy, with a sweetness to round

the whole thing out.

i was really fortunate that the blueberries

were huge, unbelievably

sweet and boasting just the right

amount of tenderness. 

i stabbed one with a fork,

adding a piece of scallion,

a toasted pecan and 

a cube of cheese and lightly

dipped it into the dressing.

a test, i figured,

before i stirred them all together 

and potentially ruined a bunch

of perfectly good ingredients.

hmm...i could get used to this.

worrying about feta that

could disintegrate under the dressing

and too much stirring,

i opted to mix together the other

three ingredients first, then add the

dressing. once i was sure that the salad

was well combined, i

held my breath and carefully

folded in the cheese.

the salad sat for about 20 minutes

until the rest of the meal was finished,

which i think was the perfect amount

of time to let the flavors meld

and

the ingredients blend into a cohesive

side dish,

without the pecans softening, 

the scallions wilting or the cheese

breaking apart.

sweet and fruity, salty and creamy,

slightly sharp and fragrantly nutty,

the salad was just what i was 

after when setting out to make this 

dish, playing it over in my mind,

trying to decided if the feta should

be crumbled, sliced or cubed 

and wondering if i should add a 

shallots or lemon juice. 

in the end, and i don't often say this,

usually my harshest critic,

i think i got it right.

i don't think lemon was necessary.

i think the scallions were enough

and shallots, too, would have 

been too harsh.

and i think structured square 

pieces of white feta were ideal

next to the round colorful berries.

it was a relief.

feta and blueberry salad

to make this mixture into a heartier side dish or main course, i could absolutely see tossing the entire thing with salad greens (and dare i say, chicken?) or folding it into couscous or a cooked grain. as i've said, the dressing was a guessing game, so i'll tell you ahead of time, you may want to go up and down with the vinegar or the honey. and as usual, i went light on the olive oil. feel free to play with that, too. i used white balsamic vinegar so that the feta would not be stained, but i'm sure it would be just as good with regular balsamic.

3-4 tablespoons white balsamic vinegar

1-2 teaspoons honey

kosher salt

cracked black pepper

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 block (6 ounces) feta cheese

2 scallions, green and white parts sliced

1/3 cup broke up pecans pieces, toasted

1 pint big, sweet blueberries

in small bowl, whisk together vinegar, honey and salt and pepper to taste. whisking constantly, slowly drizzle in olive oil. taste and adjust seasonings. set aside.

cube feta: using sharp knife, cut feta into slices about 1/2-inch thick, keeping them lined up. rotate entire block and cut slices into sticks, about 1-2 long. cut sticks into 1/2" cubes. set aside.

in bowl, combine scallions, pecans and blueberries; drizzle in dressing and toss to combine. carefully fold feta into mixture just until combined. let sit about 20 minutes before serving.