i'm kind of messy

i thought i was going to fail out of culinary school because i could not...

dice potatoes into perfect 1/2" cubes

julienne flawless strips of zucchini
drizzle non-runny drops of basil oil onto the rim of a dish
conceptualize and execute a gorgeously composed dessert.

my not so symmetrical english muffins. they were good, though.

i shouldn't have worried. don't get me wrong --
i never became especially good at any of that.
but i didn't fail out.

when we wove lattice crusts onto pies,
trimmed black bass into rectangles
and used our pastry bag to pipe perfect rosettes onto cakes
i tried (hard) not to cry when my pastry strips were uneven,

my fish was triangular

and my frosting was rather spastic.

until one day, out of nowhere, i realized a quick cure:

while others were calling themselves

French

Pan-Asian

Italian

Continental

in style, I chose rustic.

i was so excited about my composed trifle, until i saw that the top layer looked like this.

so, i whipped some cream and smeared it over the whole mess. no one ever knew.

it fit me better anyway.

i'd rather make big bowls of pasta brimming with

the most seasonal of ingredients,

fresh fruits crostadas that

look like they belong on a long wooden farm table,

hearty soups that serve as meals

and are even better with bread for dunking.

and so out of necessity, my idea, my lifestyle - and my sanity - was born.

i'm not lazy.

i'm rustic.