even when i want to lie, i can't

when i thought about this post,

as i have, for months,

i imagined explaining to you

that sometimes

i lie.

that while i once

told you i prefer

thick, 

can't miss, can't mess

pastas,

i lied to you,

because i only keep

a rule until it no longer

applies to me.

i thought that i would

tell you about these amazing

extra long durum wheat strands, 

that were just handed

over to me,

just given to me, in a casual,

you like to cook, right? kind of way.

and i would tell you

the all-too-true tale

about how,

seeing as they were packaged

merely in thin plastic,

in the two months

that it took me to find 

a recipe that i deemed 

worthy of obviously

expensive, gourmet

and once-in-a-lifetime

pasta,

i was positive that they would 

break,

so i refused to store them in

the cabinet or even take

them off the counter.

and, then,

i would let you know,

again,

that sometimes, i lie,

because i love these 

round noodles, 

called bucatini,

trademarked by the 

very visible hole

that runs down their

center.

but i can't.

i tried. but they were

thick and really long,

and impossible to

wrap around the tines of

a normal-sized fork,

and they made me 

frustrated.  

for starters,

this bucatini was incredibly

long. it was so long that i spent

a really, really long 

time trying to take

the perfect picture so

that you could understand

just how long the strands

really were.

(i felt incredibly

dumb hours later - for multiple 

reasons -

first, when i stuck them into the pot 

of boiling water and realized:

this was the only picture 

i needed.)

the second reason:

i was always taught,

whatever you do, don't break

the noodles. 

submerge the bottom

half in hot water and in 

a few seconds

they'll soften 

enough so that you can

gently coax the top half in.

i was an idiot for not 

thinking this through.

first, these were really long -

which in my defense was part

of my reasoning...

isn't that their charm?

and they're thick.

needless to say, it took a long

time to get them all in

and then they cooked unevenly.

i just kept thinking,

why would anyone make them

this long, 

just so that they're broken

later?

but, even once cooked,

i found them unruly and 

just not my favorite thing.

i realize, however, that 

some people would love these,

my friend tricia 

gets extreme pleasure

out of twisting al dente

strands around a fork,

busily twirling while

resting on a spoon.

but not me.

bucatini, aside,

i really enjoyed this

unexpected dish

that i finally decided

on:

pasta with dried figs.

it was created for

the cookbook,

100 ways to be pasta,

a page turner that uses

bucatini several times.

in fact,

if i can digress for a moment

from the dish explanation,

i'd love for you to 

read the (long) sidebar note:

bucatini, literally means

"little bucato" (bucato is another 

pasta shape)...it's a difficult 

pasta to eat - because it is so thick,

it is almost impossible to twirl

on a fork. if you can't twirl the entire

strand, which almost nobody can do 

and certainly you cannot if you 

did not grow up doing it, you have

to slurp the end into your mouth. if you

do this with a pasta covered in condimento -

and especially one that has a hole that 

is full of condimento - at the end of

the slurp, some of the condimento

is sure to fly out...

i should have known.

however, when i found

the fig recipe,

it sounded unusual

and comforting

and potentially delicious,

all in one.

the figs troubled me 

slightly,

enough that i was 

afraid to tell larry

what we were eating 

for fear that he would sneak

a 9-1-1 for pizza delivery.

(i should have been

afraid, he looked scared

when he saw what was 

going on.)

but the figs,

which are soaked for

hours in tepid water,

soften beautifully,

as if they were made

to become a sauce.

and because 

they are few and far

between, bites

are not overly sweet.

actually everything,

from the onions,

to the almonds

and pepper

are used sparingly,

there to create a coating,

rather than a 

soupy mixture.

the onions

are also soaked,

to reduce their harsh 

flavor and soften

the half moons before they

even hit the pan.

these two steps

mean that when

it's time to put everything

together, it actually

takes very little time.

the figs had been bathing

for hours. when i

set the onions in water,

i used this time to toast

the almonds - i opted

to toast ones

that were slivered and

blanched -

and to grate the cheese.

after hunting around

for two days for the 

smoked provola called for,

i switched tactics

and opted for

a hard goat, figuring

figs, nuts, goat cheese?

it should work. 

and it did. while

a sliver

on its own is

sharp and possibly

questionable to some

tastebuds,

finely grated with a

microplane, the

cheese becomes

the perfect tangy

foil for the thick

noodles and sweet figs.

(and i've since learned

that provola is nothing

more than

smoked buffalo mozzarella.)

the end result was lovely.

and while i'm not

running out to buy

bucatini anytime soon,

i would love to recreate

the meal with farfalle,

rigatoni or even, orzo,

and serve it on the side

of chicken or fish.

with these types of pasta,

it would be easy to scoop,

stab, lift 

and enjoy

instead of slurping,

struggling

and cursing.

bucatini with dried figs

i mean it - i would love to try this dish using a different shape of pasta. i may even go as far to say...linguine. whatever your favorite may be, i think it should work. as for soaking the figs - the recipe called for two hours and due to unforseen out-of-the-kitchen circumstances, i soaked them for three. i recommend the extra time and in fact, felt that the larger ones could have used a little longer under the water. also, while the original directions instruct to grate the cheese on top, i used less and added it to the bucatini before tossing with the remaining ingredients, then grated some on top before serving. if you're not a fan of goat cheeses, i'm sure you could substitute grated parm. i also reduced the butter and didn't bother adding olive oil to the pasta water, but upped the figs by an extra ounce.

4 ounces dried figs

1 pound white or yellow onions, peeled, halved and thinly sliced

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1/2 cup white wine

1 pound bucatini

1/2 cup blanched and slivered almonds, toasted

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

3 ounces hard goat cheese (i used capra valtellina)

in bowl, soak figs in slightly warm water, at least 2-3 hours; drain, blot on paper towels and chop. in separate bowl, soak onions in water 30 minutes; drain.

in large skillet or saucepan, melt butter. add onions; season with kosher salt and cook over medium heat 15 minutes, or until golden brown and tender, stirring often. reduce heat to low; add wine and simmer onions 20 minutes, or until almost melted. add a splash of hot water, if onions stick (for me, they didn't).

meanwhile, bring large saucepot of water to a boil; season with salt and add bucatini. cook according to package directions, until just al dente. reserve 1 1/2 cups cooking water. drain bucatini and immediately add to onions.

increase heat to medium-high and add about 1 cup cup of cooking water. add figs, almonds, cayenne pepper and 2 1/2 ounces grated cheese; toss to combine and add remaining cooking water, if necessary. cook 2 minutes, tossing together. transfer mixture to large serving bowl or individual bowls and top with remaining grated cheese.