sometimes, the kitchen isn't my friend

we recently made plans 

to go to lauren's and jon's 

for dinner.

as soon as it was decided,

i realized that the preceding

days would be spent at

my mom's and i worried

that i wouldn't have time

to bake together a dessert.

so even though i was using

my saturday night to make

this and this,

i still thought it would be

a good idea to throw one

more dish into the mix.

i decided drop or bar

cookies would be best,

and i had been craving lime.

everywhere i looked, there

seemed to be recipes for 

shortbread with lime,

lime sugar cookies,

lime, lime, lime.

i was in. now i just needed

a recipe.

in my continuing effort

to try to use my cookbooks

more often, i pulled a bunch

out until i found 

the recipe that seemed perfect:

lime bars with white chocolate.

it called for a 9 x 9 pan,

but i opted to increase

the proportions and bake in 

a 9 x 13 instead so that i could

bring half to my mom's 

and half to lauren's.

the grocery store - a new one -

was madness and looking

for an escape,

larry and i ducked into

the one aisle that appeared

empty: stone fruit.

i know it's not yet peach season,

but still surprising.

after the crowds passed,

we turned to leave and i noticed

a bag of key limes.

i looked at the teeny limes and

decided to slightly change course.

oh, it was fate and a very bad idea

all rolled into one.

at home, i thought i could brilliantly

balance baking two things, with

two different baking temperatures,

in an alternating pattern. 

i pressed out the crust

for the raspberry tart,

put it in the oven for pre-baking

and then got to work,

processing graham crackers,

zesting the tiny key limes and 

melting butter. 

the tart crust came out of the oven,

i reduced the temperature of the oven,

and as i waited for the signal,

i reread the next step,

very easy.

just mix together the cream cheese,

lime juice, eggs and sugar.

once the crust comes out, pour

the filling inside and return to the oven.

i set the baking pan on the middle rack

of the oven and suddenly - if this

were a movie, the gentle music 

would have immediately slammed

to a screeching halt - 

looked over and 

realized i hadn't juiced the key limes.

yes, the filling is very fast, if

you've already painstakingly squeezed

the juice out of these miniature globes.

after juicing one by hand, on my own.

i screamed for larry, who was happily

watching baseball, blissfully unaware of his

next 10 minutes.

together, i halved the limes, 

pulled the seeds out 

and handed them to him with the instruction,

no juice left behind. 

unfortunately, 15 seconds

in, larry found a cut 

that he didn't know he had. 

we switched places, but still, 

with every lime,

he screamed, 

and i alternated my time between

watching the timer countdown 

and praying

that this one bag of key limes 

was enough to yield 3/4 cup of juice. 

we just made it - we had exactly what

we needed. the timer went off

and as i begged larry to unwrap 

the cream cheese and measure out 

the sugar, i placed the crust on a cooling

rack and cracked the eggs

into a bowl.

i put everything in the mixer, as larry

walked out of the room, no

doubt shaking his head at the

crazy lady in the kitchen.

lastly, i poured in the juice, 

relieved that everything

was in place. 

i relaxed,

turned the mixer on

and screamed (again,

music stopping at a screeching halt).

i'd like to blame it on the frantic

situation, knowing that i had already

messed up by not having

my juice ready, that i had been

crazy for trying to make two 

desserts at once, rationalizing

that they both needed to be

baked twice, that i was already

ready to be out of the kitchen 

and that

if i was being honest,

i had found a cut on my finger, too.

but, really, it's just that i was having

a moment. 

a dumb moment.

because i know better than to just

pour a bunch of liquid into a mixer

and turn it on. 

i know that you

should take a spatula and fold

the contents together a few times

to moisten and incorporate.

but i didn't. and so, a bunch

(how much, i don't know) of that 

precious juice that we

squeezed and squeezed, 

flew back out

of the bowl and 

landed all over the top

half of my body.

we were out of key limes.

i didn't have any regular limes.

i had no choice but to carry on.

i finished mixing, poured the whole

thing into the crust, laughing

that it looked like a child had

put the parchment paper in the pan

in the first place,

placed it in the oven and walked 

into the living room,

still slightly dripping and now,

sticky, with lime juice.

i was done. but i couldn't

be. i still had to cook the rice,

and fill the raspberry tart.

larry followed me back into the 

kitchen, where thankfully,

he cleaned up the mess as i 

started on the rice. when the

lime bars came out of the oven,

larry left, but not before

giving me a weird look,

saying, you need a drink, 

pouring me a beer

and walking out, again.

hours (yes hours)

later, when the grape leaves

and the tart were both 

cooling, i assembled my

mock double boiler,

melted down a little bit

of white chocolate and drizzled

it all over the bars. 

kind of pretty. but i couldn't 

look at them anymore. instead,

i covered the pan, fridged

the whole thing

and decided to not look

at them again until morning.

considering what those bars

had gone through that day,

i think the decision was mutual.

key lime white chocolate bars

adapted from the greyston bakery cookbook's lime bars

these were really delicious, smooth and sweet, with nice hints of tartness (of course, it could have been more). and let me just say, these should not have been hard. this is a simply recipe that i somehow made impossible - so don't be afaid of it. as i said, i multiplied all ingredients by 1 1/2 to make sure it filled out a 9 x 13 pan, so if you only want to make 9 x 9 worth, only use two-thirds. also, because key limes are much tarter, i increased the sugar to compensate. you'll want to chill them for at least 2 hours to make sure they're firm enough to cut, but if you have the time, i recommend keeping them in the fridge overnight.

18 graham crackers (2 1/2 x 5)

1 1/2 cups, plus 2 tablespoons, granulated sugar, divided

2 tablespoons grated key lime zest, divided

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, melted

3 (8 ounced) packages cream cheese, at room temperature

3 egg yolks

3/4 cup freshly squeezed key lime juice (for me, this took 23 key limes, or one bag)

4 ounces white chocolate, finaly chopped

1/2 tablespoon vegetable or corn oil (optional)

make sure your key limes are juiced.

place rack in center of oven. heat oven to 350˚f. grease 9 x 13 baking pan; line it with large piece of parchment paper that extends over the sides. set aside.

in bowl of food processor, pulse graham crackers until fine crumbs form. transfer to a bowl; add 1/2 cup sugar, 1 tablespoon lime zest and salt. mix to combine. pour melted butter over cookie crumb; press mixture into the bottom of the baking pan. bake 10 to 12 minutes, or until the color deepens and the crust becomes fragrant. remove from the oven and place on cooling rack; let cool slightly.

meanwhile, in bowl of your electric mixer, combine cream cheese and remaining 3/4 cup, plus 2 tablespoons, sugar. add egg yolks one at a time, mixing just until blended. add lime juice and remaining 1 tablespoon zest to bowl, using spatula, fold to combine slightly. start mixer on low, increasing speed to medium, and beat just until mixture is completely blended. 

pour cream cheese mixture over warm crust. bake 30 to 35 minutes or until the filling is set and beginning to just slightly color. place on wire rack and let cool completely.

in bowl set over saucepot of simmering water (but not touching), melt white chocolate. if the chocolate doesn't seem fluid enough, add a small amount of oil to thin it out. using fork, drizzle white chocolate over bars. let sit 10 minutes. cover bars and place in fridge. chill 2 hours, or overnight. using sharp knife, cut off edges of bars. cut into squares. chill until ready to serve.