caper and scallion cream cheese-stuffed bagels

i'll tell you this story and then,

i think you'll have an accurate picture

of me, who i am in the kitchen and,

probably, who i am in life.

picture me, on new year's day,

10:55 am, crouched down on the floor,

staring into my oven,

watching these bagels bake,

begging them not to be failure -

considering that i had invited

other people to eat breakfast

in ten minutes and was still in

my pajamas -

begging them to not lose their

cool and to please, please, please,

just brown without letting their

scallion and caper-laced

cream cheese centers

burst out from the sides.

and then,

one minute away from the 20-minute mark

of the 20 to 30 minute baking time,

i watched as one bagel -

the troublemaker,

the instigator,

the up-to-no-good bagel

as i now think of him -

oozed cream cheese out

its side.

i was pissed.

***

the best present larry gave me

for chanukah, was one i didn't even

know i wanted: milk,

the new cookbook from christina tosi

and momofuku milk bar.

i couldn't stop reading it.

every night that week, i pulled it onto my bed,

and eventually, read the entire thing

from david chang's forward to the bonus recipe

for crack pie.

the recipes are unique.

playful. childlike.

packed with technique

and a. lot. of steps. a lot.

after deciding i had a good handle on the book,

i realized i also

had high hopes of making three

recipes in the first week.

two - the banana cake and the corn

cookies - i was forced to skip,

after searching all around new jersey

for two hard to find ingredients

(banana extract and just corn,

respectively).

the third was the bagel bombs.

a bagel, made from a simple dough,

filled with frozen balls of cream cheese,

topped with poppy seeds

sesame seeds

kosher salt

dried onion

and baked until golden brown.

after i realized that three-quarters

of our new year's eve party would be

sleeping over, and we'd be adding two more

for brunch, it seemed

like the perfect time to experiment

with a recipe that serves eight.

so, on new year's eve,

while making appetizers,

and the boca negra,

we prepared the dough,

made the cream cheese filling

and stirred together the

seeded topping.

the only thing was this:

the dough was kind of funky.

it was wet and not interested in

coming together.

i mixed a little longer.

i added more flour.

against my better judgement,

i poured it into a bowl and decided

to let it rise to see what would happen.

and then, an hour later,

when the dough had risen,

but was still sticky and unmanageable,

i realized i had two choices:

abandon the bagel bombs

or

start over.

and, probably because at this point,

i needed to provide brunch and,

maybe because i had already made

all the other components,

i surprised myself by choosing

to redo the dough.

i measured everything again.

i remixed the dough.

and while i couldn't tell you

that we had a perfect ball

at the end of the mixing,

it was closer than we were ever going

to get with the first batch.

so, i turned the mixer speed up a bit,

beat for an extra two minutes,

and dumped the dough into the bowl.

after the mixture had risen,

i covered the bowl, placed it in the fridge,

and decided that i better make

a frittata, too.

the next morning,

while everyone was still waking up,

i chided myself for throwing two parties

within 12 hours of each other, then pulled

the dough out of the fridge to allow it to come

to room temperature. i prepared the ingredients

for this frittata.

by the time i was ready to get started,

i had an audience.

and let me tell you, that was the wrong

time to be on display.

my eight equal pieces, stretched out into

2 - 3-inch round discs, looked like this:

i was so grateful for the frittata.

and, for the strawberries waiting in the fridge.

as my sisters read me the directions,

i topped each piece with the cream cheese balls,

rolled the dough around them and was pleasantly

surprised when somehow,

they looked like this:

i brushed the balls with egg wash,

sprinkled all over with the everything bagel mix,

and asked the rounds for not the first or last time,

to please, please, please

not let me down.

***

now, i was torn.

the bagels were not deeply golden brown

as they were supposed to be,

but we were at the 22 minute mark

and five of the bagels were leaking.

i gave it two more minutes,

and then i couldn't take any more.

i had one perfect bagel left.

after i had taken the time to mix together

cream cheese,

scallions,

fried capers,

black pepper

and sugar,

then shape them into balls and freeze them

the day before,

i couldn't handle the thought of

all but one of my guests receiving empty bagels.

i pulled them out from the oven,

tried fruitlessly to gently tuck the cream cheese

back into the bread as instructed,

and realized that these were magic bagels

that spouted cream cheese, but were somehow,

sans culprit hole.

but then, when we sat down to eat,

everyone with a bagel and a slice of frittata on

their plate, i was thankful for a small miracle,

(and generously-sized cream cheese balls):

when torn open,

all the bagels were still stuffed.

there was enough, as my sister's fiance said,

to tear the top half off and dip it

into the cream cheese as you ate.

breakfast was not a bust.

the bagel bombs -

warm,

doughy

salty

and heavily

seeded -

were a hit.

that's why, when i walked into the kitchen,

and saw the parchment paper, just sitting there,

holding seven splotches of cream cheese,

i tried really hard to no longer

be pissed.

caper and scallion cream cheese-stuffed bagels

adapted from christina tosi and momofuku milk bar

there are several components to the recipe, broken down below. every piece can be made a couple days ahead of time, but the bagels need to be assembled the day that you are baking and serving. tosi says they are best served warm, but can be reheated later on or the next day. i didn't have leftovers to prove that theory.

1/2 dough recipe

fried caper and scallion cream cheese filling

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon water

everything bagel topping

heat oven to 350˚f. line baking sheet with parchment paper or silpat.

punch down dough; flatten the dough on a smooth and dry countertop. use dough cutter to divide dough into 8 pieces; using your fingers, gently stretch dough into a round, approximately 2-3" wide (note: i'd aim for three inches, if possible.)

top with one frozen ball cream cheese filling. bring edges of dough together around the ball and pinch together; gently roll dough between the palms of your hands until your dough resembles a ball shape. check to make sure that holes have not formed and all the cream cheese is enclosed. arrange 4-inches apart on prepared baking sheet. repeat with remaining dough and cream cheese balls.

in small bowl, whisk the egg and water. brush each ball with egg wash mixture. sprinkle top and sides generously with everything bagel topping.

bake 20-30 minutes, or until golden brown.

wrap remaining bagels in plastic and store in the fridge for up to three days.

regarding the cream cheese explosion, this is the exact note in the book:

"while in the oven, the bombs will become a deep golden brown and a few may have cream cheese explosions. continue baking until you see this happen! not to worry - serve them as is or use your fingers to tuck the cream cheese back inside the bagel bomb."

the dough

this is the recipe that tosi calls the mother dough. she uses it for several other recipes in the book. yes, i had trouble with it, but i don't know what my problem was and ultimately, the bagels turned out great, so i'm giving you tosi's recipe, as is.

3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (550 grams)

1 tablespoon kosher salt (12 grams)

1/2 packet or 1 1/8 teaspoon active dry yeast (3.5 grams)

1 3/4 cups water, at room temperature (370 grams)

grapeseed oil

in bowl of stand mixer, using the dough hook in your hand like a wooden spoon, stir together flour, salt and yeast. add the water in a steady stream, continuing to stir and mixing for 1 minute, until the mixture has come together.

attach the dough hook to the stand mixer. place the bowl in the mixer. on the lowest setting, mix dough 3 minutes, or until the dough is a ball, is smoother and is more cohesive. mix for 4 minutes more, still on the lowest speed. the dough should look like a wet ball and should bounce back softly when pressed.

brush large bowl with grapeseed oil; add the dough. cover with plastic wrap; let sit at room temperature 45 minutes to rise.

use to make bagel bombs; cover and put in the fridge or freeze for up to one week.

fried caper and scallion cream cheese

in milk, the mixture is made with scallions and thick cut bacon. much to larry's disappointment, i decided that i really wanted these to be vegetarian and crowd-friendly. so, using their recipe as a jumping off point, i tinkered to create a fried caper and scallion cream cheese - something i've been thinking about since eating, what i'm pretty sure was fried caper cream cheese under smoked salmon at a local breakfast spot. it was good, but i'm not sure it was worth the work or the oil, once frozen and baked. i'd probably just add plain capers next time.

1/4 cup olive oil

1 heaping tablespoon capers, dried well

7 ounces cream cheese, softened

3 scallions, thinly sliced

1 teaspoon sugar

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

in small skillet over medium heat, warm olive oil until shimmering. add one caper. when the caper begins to sizzle, add remaining capers. let cook 45 seconds to 1 minutes, or until the capers open and begin to look like flowers. using slotted spoon, transfer capers to paper towel-lined plate and let cool. reserve caper oil.

in bowl of stand mixer on medium speed, beat cream cheese 1 minute, or until smooth. add 2 teaspoons olive oil from capers. beat 20 seconds, or until combined. add scallions, capers, sugar and salt; beat 20 seconds, or until combined.

divide cream cheese into 8 equal balls; place on aluminum foil-lined small sheet pan. freeze 1-3 hours, or until completely frozen. use immediately or transfer to an airtight container and store in freezer for up to 1 month.

everything bagel topping

i know how ridiculous this sounds, but once i started making the different components, this mixture was what i was most excited about. i've always had a soft spot for everything bagels and it made my day to realize that i could make the topping and use it for anything i so desired (i'm thinking fish).

3/4 teaspoon kosher salt (3 grams)

1 tablespoon white sesame seeds (6 grams)

2 teaspoons black sesame seeds (4 grams)

2 teaspoons poppy seeds (4 grams)

1 tablespoon dried onion flakes (4 grams)

1/2 teaspoon onion powder (2 grams)

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder (1 gram)

in small airtight container, stir together all ingredients. use immediately or use, ideally, within 6 months.

rosemary focaccia

more times than i can remember,

i've thought that it would be nice

to make focaccia.

and like most things in my life,

and like most things in my kitchen,

once i did,

it was so not a big deal.

why didn't i just do it sooner?

i think it's because, although i often spend

undivided time inside the house,

the idea of having to commit to

a couple hours for first and second

rises just feels overwhelming.

and the other thing is this -

sometimes i make dinner

and it's not so great. something

just didn't come together and it's

missing a squirt of lemon juice

or an herb or it's slightly overcooked

or really, it's a recipe that was never

meant to be. and, for me?

it's unfortunate.

but, it's ok.

i make dinner quite often.

i'll just try again tomorrow.

but baking - i love it,

yet i'm so hesitant to commit.

having to face an entire so-so cake

or a dry tasteless loaf of bread

that i've spent a lot of time on

just hurts.

so, even though i made focaccia

once - in culinary school - i've always

opted for garlic bread, or no bread,

when the occasion strikes.

on sunday, though, jenn was coming

for dinner. she hadn't seen the house

since one day after we closed and

the walls were still painted crazy colors

(seriously, watermelon, brick red and pea

green do not belong in the same room.

especially when all three face a yellow hallway).

i was torn between wanting everything to look

nice and wanting to cook a great meal.

after thinking for about 30 seconds,

i went for the latter: this place,

although now decked out with grey walls,

is not nearing finished readiness. there was

little i could do in five hours to prove

otherwise. instead, i knew i should focus

on what i could potentially

make presentable: dinner.

i decided pretty quickly to try

my hand at absorption pasta, which

i've been meaning to make. normally,

i would not risk attempting a new dish

for company, but jenn knew me in college

when i would invite her over and

cross my fingers that tonight was one

of those nights that i didn't burn the onions.

but, because i was already taking a chance

on the main course, i figured this was the time

to jump in headfirst for the focaccia.

i didn't even think about it:

i grabbed a packet of yeast.

well, kind of.

i needed a recipe.

again, reviews for everything was mixed.

but, then i saw anne burrell's version.

anne burrell. i think she's kind of kooky.

and i love her.

i met her for the first time years ago.

i was working for the magazine and

often attended press events that took

me all over nyc to different restaurants

and sometimes, odd places. but, many - it

seems in retrospect - were at the

culinary loft in the city, a very cool space

with a kitchen area in the back.

in my memory, no matter who

the main attraction was, anne burrell

and her shock of blonde hair was

behind them, moving swiftly around

the kitchen - chopping, boiling,

skimming and plating - as they spoke

about their dishes. they were the face

of the night, anne was the muscle.

after the first time, i went back and

told my editor about this speedy

seems-to-do-a-million-things-at-once

woman. she knew immediately

who i was talking about.

we googled her and pulled

up a picture. from then on, while

everyone was focused on the "star,"

i found myself watching anne. when larry

put on an episode of iron chef,

i noticed that my eyes were always on her.

i just found her fast. and talented -

her food was always delicious.

when she got her show on the food network,

i knew i would watch. and i do, often,

even though i'm often amazed at how

intensely she's obsessed with food.

i mean, i love food.

and ingredients.

and cooking techniques.

and food blogs.

but anne? she takes it to the next level.

sometimes i think she forgets

cameras are there. she loves it all.

times ten.

but you know what?

it's ok. almost all of her recipes

are reviewed amazingly high.

everything that food network

fans make of hers, they love.

and that's why i knew that if

i was going to make focaccia,

i'd want to make hers.

she may be kooky.

but, she knows her food.

the recipe was simple -

water, yeast, sugar,

flour, olive oil, salt.

i wanted to add rosemary.

so here's how it went down:

the hardest part came 10 minutes

in. the flour, salt

and olive oil were sitting in the bowl

of the mixer. the yeast was very

foamy. but the recipe specifically

said to wait at least 15 minutes

before mixing the two. so, i waited.

begrudgingly.

and then, when it came time to

turn the mixer on, i stayed near.

the dough nearly rocked the

ridiculously heavy kitchen aide

off the counter. i stopped it before

it fell to the floor, but it was brutal

in its mission, taking out a measuring cup

and pushing foil to the side, in its fury.

those were the most difficult steps.

after that, the dough came together

beautifully, it kneaded without a problem

and i before i knew it, the smooth round

was sitting in a greased bowl, set off to

the side. it was at that point that i decided

that i needed to make a dessert.

that last minute activity was enough

to get me through that hour and suddenly,

it was time to press the dough

into the pan. it was at this step that i made

my one mistake.

remember that time in culinary school

that i made focaccia? our instructor told

us to load up the pan with olive oil

before adding the dough, to drizzle well

before baking. right before it went into

the oven, she told my group that ours

looked perfect. it was really, really oily.

so this time, i was determined to be

reasonable. focaccia is an oil-laden

(deliciously oil-laden) bread. but, i

didn't want it dripping. i didn't want

jenn's hands to be shiny and have

her wonder why i would serve her

such a grease trap. so i cut back from

what i thought was an overly generous

one cup to about whatever 1/2 cup

plus 1/3 cup comes out to be. and after

it was flat and rose a second time,

there was plenty of oil still dotting

the surface. so just before putting it

in the oven, i tossed on some rosemary

and sprinkles of salt, but i passed on

the extra drizzles of olive oil.

when i checked the bread at

about 20 minutes, it smelled

amazing, but it looked dull.

i wanted to add an egg wash

to make the pale crust glisten,

or maybe while i was making wishes,

go back in time and add the

extra olive oil.

but, you live, you learn and you

serve the bread next to

a salad that has maybe just a little

too much dressing so that people

can dunk their still-pretty-tasty

squares into a

balsamic-laced mixture

and pretend that that's how it

was all supposed to go down,

anyway.

rosemary focaccia

adapted from anne burrell

the only thing that i can really say is that i know this is a lot of olive oil, but that's what focaccia is - a dough that is made with the golden liquid, squished into the dough before it rises a second time and drizzled on top before baking. it's excessive. but, it's what makes it focaccia. just embrace it.

1 packet active dry yeast

1 tablespoon granulated sugar

5 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for kneading

1 tablespoon kosher salt, plus coarse sea salt for sprinkling

1 cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided

1 tablespoon fresh rosemary

fill liquid measuring cup with 1 3/4 cups warm water. sprinkle with yeast and sugar; stir to combine. place cup in warm place; let sit 15 minutes or until the yeast is foamy and aromatic.

coat large bowl lightly with olive oil; set aside.

in bowl of electric mixer, add flour, kosher salt, 1/2 cup olive oil and yeast mixture. combine on low speed just until dough has come together. increase speed to medium and mix 5-6 minutes, or until the mixture is smooth and soft. if you find the mixture to be extra sticky, sprinkle in a touch more of flour.

transfer dough to a clean lightly floured surface; knead by hand one or two times, or just until the mixture smooths out. place in reserved oiled bowl; cover with lightly greased plastic wrap and place in warm place for 1 hour, or until dough has doubled in size.

coat a jelly roll pan with remaining olive oil. turn dough out onto jelly roll pan, pressing to fit. turn the dough over to coat both sides and continue to press until the dough fits the pan. using fingers, make holes all the way through the dough. cover dough with plastic wrap. place in warm place and let sit 1 hour, or until the dough has doubled in size.

meanwhile, heat over to 425˚f.

sprinkle dough with coarse salt and rosemary. drizzle with olive oil. bake 25-30 minutes, or until the bread is golden brown. cool on rack. transfer focaccia to cutting board and cut into squares.