caper and scallion cream cheese-stuffed bagels

i'll tell you this story and then,

i think you'll have an accurate picture

of me, who i am in the kitchen and,

probably, who i am in life.

picture me, on new year's day,

10:55 am, crouched down on the floor,

staring into my oven,

watching these bagels bake,

begging them not to be failure -

considering that i had invited

other people to eat breakfast

in ten minutes and was still in

my pajamas -

begging them to not lose their

cool and to please, please, please,

just brown without letting their

scallion and caper-laced

cream cheese centers

burst out from the sides.

and then,

one minute away from the 20-minute mark

of the 20 to 30 minute baking time,

i watched as one bagel -

the troublemaker,

the instigator,

the up-to-no-good bagel

as i now think of him -

oozed cream cheese out

its side.

i was pissed.

***

the best present larry gave me

for chanukah, was one i didn't even

know i wanted: milk,

the new cookbook from christina tosi

and momofuku milk bar.

i couldn't stop reading it.

every night that week, i pulled it onto my bed,

and eventually, read the entire thing

from david chang's forward to the bonus recipe

for crack pie.

the recipes are unique.

playful. childlike.

packed with technique

and a. lot. of steps. a lot.

after deciding i had a good handle on the book,

i realized i also

had high hopes of making three

recipes in the first week.

two - the banana cake and the corn

cookies - i was forced to skip,

after searching all around new jersey

for two hard to find ingredients

(banana extract and just corn,

respectively).

the third was the bagel bombs.

a bagel, made from a simple dough,

filled with frozen balls of cream cheese,

topped with poppy seeds

sesame seeds

kosher salt

dried onion

and baked until golden brown.

after i realized that three-quarters

of our new year's eve party would be

sleeping over, and we'd be adding two more

for brunch, it seemed

like the perfect time to experiment

with a recipe that serves eight.

so, on new year's eve,

while making appetizers,

and the boca negra,

we prepared the dough,

made the cream cheese filling

and stirred together the

seeded topping.

the only thing was this:

the dough was kind of funky.

it was wet and not interested in

coming together.

i mixed a little longer.

i added more flour.

against my better judgement,

i poured it into a bowl and decided

to let it rise to see what would happen.

and then, an hour later,

when the dough had risen,

but was still sticky and unmanageable,

i realized i had two choices:

abandon the bagel bombs

or

start over.

and, probably because at this point,

i needed to provide brunch and,

maybe because i had already made

all the other components,

i surprised myself by choosing

to redo the dough.

i measured everything again.

i remixed the dough.

and while i couldn't tell you

that we had a perfect ball

at the end of the mixing,

it was closer than we were ever going

to get with the first batch.

so, i turned the mixer speed up a bit,

beat for an extra two minutes,

and dumped the dough into the bowl.

after the mixture had risen,

i covered the bowl, placed it in the fridge,

and decided that i better make

a frittata, too.

the next morning,

while everyone was still waking up,

i chided myself for throwing two parties

within 12 hours of each other, then pulled

the dough out of the fridge to allow it to come

to room temperature. i prepared the ingredients

for this frittata.

by the time i was ready to get started,

i had an audience.

and let me tell you, that was the wrong

time to be on display.

my eight equal pieces, stretched out into

2 - 3-inch round discs, looked like this:

i was so grateful for the frittata.

and, for the strawberries waiting in the fridge.

as my sisters read me the directions,

i topped each piece with the cream cheese balls,

rolled the dough around them and was pleasantly

surprised when somehow,

they looked like this:

i brushed the balls with egg wash,

sprinkled all over with the everything bagel mix,

and asked the rounds for not the first or last time,

to please, please, please

not let me down.

***

now, i was torn.

the bagels were not deeply golden brown

as they were supposed to be,

but we were at the 22 minute mark

and five of the bagels were leaking.

i gave it two more minutes,

and then i couldn't take any more.

i had one perfect bagel left.

after i had taken the time to mix together

cream cheese,

scallions,

fried capers,

black pepper

and sugar,

then shape them into balls and freeze them

the day before,

i couldn't handle the thought of

all but one of my guests receiving empty bagels.

i pulled them out from the oven,

tried fruitlessly to gently tuck the cream cheese

back into the bread as instructed,

and realized that these were magic bagels

that spouted cream cheese, but were somehow,

sans culprit hole.

but then, when we sat down to eat,

everyone with a bagel and a slice of frittata on

their plate, i was thankful for a small miracle,

(and generously-sized cream cheese balls):

when torn open,

all the bagels were still stuffed.

there was enough, as my sister's fiance said,

to tear the top half off and dip it

into the cream cheese as you ate.

breakfast was not a bust.

the bagel bombs -

warm,

doughy

salty

and heavily

seeded -

were a hit.

that's why, when i walked into the kitchen,

and saw the parchment paper, just sitting there,

holding seven splotches of cream cheese,

i tried really hard to no longer

be pissed.

caper and scallion cream cheese-stuffed bagels

adapted from christina tosi and momofuku milk bar

there are several components to the recipe, broken down below. every piece can be made a couple days ahead of time, but the bagels need to be assembled the day that you are baking and serving. tosi says they are best served warm, but can be reheated later on or the next day. i didn't have leftovers to prove that theory.

1/2 dough recipe

fried caper and scallion cream cheese filling

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon water

everything bagel topping

heat oven to 350˚f. line baking sheet with parchment paper or silpat.

punch down dough; flatten the dough on a smooth and dry countertop. use dough cutter to divide dough into 8 pieces; using your fingers, gently stretch dough into a round, approximately 2-3" wide (note: i'd aim for three inches, if possible.)

top with one frozen ball cream cheese filling. bring edges of dough together around the ball and pinch together; gently roll dough between the palms of your hands until your dough resembles a ball shape. check to make sure that holes have not formed and all the cream cheese is enclosed. arrange 4-inches apart on prepared baking sheet. repeat with remaining dough and cream cheese balls.

in small bowl, whisk the egg and water. brush each ball with egg wash mixture. sprinkle top and sides generously with everything bagel topping.

bake 20-30 minutes, or until golden brown.

wrap remaining bagels in plastic and store in the fridge for up to three days.

regarding the cream cheese explosion, this is the exact note in the book:

"while in the oven, the bombs will become a deep golden brown and a few may have cream cheese explosions. continue baking until you see this happen! not to worry - serve them as is or use your fingers to tuck the cream cheese back inside the bagel bomb."

the dough

this is the recipe that tosi calls the mother dough. she uses it for several other recipes in the book. yes, i had trouble with it, but i don't know what my problem was and ultimately, the bagels turned out great, so i'm giving you tosi's recipe, as is.

3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (550 grams)

1 tablespoon kosher salt (12 grams)

1/2 packet or 1 1/8 teaspoon active dry yeast (3.5 grams)

1 3/4 cups water, at room temperature (370 grams)

grapeseed oil

in bowl of stand mixer, using the dough hook in your hand like a wooden spoon, stir together flour, salt and yeast. add the water in a steady stream, continuing to stir and mixing for 1 minute, until the mixture has come together.

attach the dough hook to the stand mixer. place the bowl in the mixer. on the lowest setting, mix dough 3 minutes, or until the dough is a ball, is smoother and is more cohesive. mix for 4 minutes more, still on the lowest speed. the dough should look like a wet ball and should bounce back softly when pressed.

brush large bowl with grapeseed oil; add the dough. cover with plastic wrap; let sit at room temperature 45 minutes to rise.

use to make bagel bombs; cover and put in the fridge or freeze for up to one week.

fried caper and scallion cream cheese

in milk, the mixture is made with scallions and thick cut bacon. much to larry's disappointment, i decided that i really wanted these to be vegetarian and crowd-friendly. so, using their recipe as a jumping off point, i tinkered to create a fried caper and scallion cream cheese - something i've been thinking about since eating, what i'm pretty sure was fried caper cream cheese under smoked salmon at a local breakfast spot. it was good, but i'm not sure it was worth the work or the oil, once frozen and baked. i'd probably just add plain capers next time.

1/4 cup olive oil

1 heaping tablespoon capers, dried well

7 ounces cream cheese, softened

3 scallions, thinly sliced

1 teaspoon sugar

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

in small skillet over medium heat, warm olive oil until shimmering. add one caper. when the caper begins to sizzle, add remaining capers. let cook 45 seconds to 1 minutes, or until the capers open and begin to look like flowers. using slotted spoon, transfer capers to paper towel-lined plate and let cool. reserve caper oil.

in bowl of stand mixer on medium speed, beat cream cheese 1 minute, or until smooth. add 2 teaspoons olive oil from capers. beat 20 seconds, or until combined. add scallions, capers, sugar and salt; beat 20 seconds, or until combined.

divide cream cheese into 8 equal balls; place on aluminum foil-lined small sheet pan. freeze 1-3 hours, or until completely frozen. use immediately or transfer to an airtight container and store in freezer for up to 1 month.

everything bagel topping

i know how ridiculous this sounds, but once i started making the different components, this mixture was what i was most excited about. i've always had a soft spot for everything bagels and it made my day to realize that i could make the topping and use it for anything i so desired (i'm thinking fish).

3/4 teaspoon kosher salt (3 grams)

1 tablespoon white sesame seeds (6 grams)

2 teaspoons black sesame seeds (4 grams)

2 teaspoons poppy seeds (4 grams)

1 tablespoon dried onion flakes (4 grams)

1/2 teaspoon onion powder (2 grams)

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder (1 gram)

in small airtight container, stir together all ingredients. use immediately or use, ideally, within 6 months.

shiitake turkey burgers with scallion-sesame mayo and pickled korean radishes

i saw a really delicious-sounding recipe

last weekend for shrimp burgers.

on wednesday, i really wanted to use

the pickled korean radishes

that i had just made for something

more than snacking.

so, i did the only thing that made sense:

i made turkey burgers.

clearly, burgers were on my brain

and i kept thinking about traditional

cheeseburgers (why? i'm not sure):

beef,

cheese,

ketchup

and, usually, pickles.

so, instead i strayed:

korean-inspired turkey burgers

(that quickly made the leap to asian

burgers when i started tossing every

sauce in my fridge into the bowl),

enhanced with shiitake mushrooms

and topped with a

sesame-scallion mayo instead of ketchup.

skip the cheese.

and instead of the cucumber pickles,

neon pink radish wedges.

i decided to wing it,

buying whatever looked good to me

in the produce department, from

gigantic shiitake mushrooms,

to scallions, a firm jalapeno

and knobby ginger.

when i got home, i diced the mushrooms,

and reasoned that in spite of the fact

that i just didn't want to dirty another

pan, i really should saute them first.

so, i heated a bit of oil, added the

mushrooms, followed by the ginger,

jalapeno and garlic, cooking them all until they

were just tender and fragrant.

as soon as the mixture was out of the pan,

i stirred in the scallions,

sesame seeds,

sriracha,

sesame oil

hoisin and

oyster sauce.

the made-up mixture was spicy,

and even though i reasoned that

all the turkey would mellow it,

i still opted to make a very

gently-flavored spread to

smear over the burger:

mayonnaise,

scallions,

garlic

and sesame oil.

it was...fine.

yes, on it's own, it was

ok. with the burger, it

was better. is it worth it

to make again? i really

don't know. i do know that

i wanted it to be fabulous.

but, sometimes, as in life,

things just aren't.

it was a good burger.

still spicy after cooking,

moist thanks to the mushrooms

and packed with all of my favorites.

but, i wasn't as original

as i believed i was.

while assembling, i

realized that they were a

clear imitations of one of my

very favorites: turkey meatball banh mi.

but, these tasted even better because we

ate them in the daylight.

and that?

that was fabulous.

shiitake turkey burgers with scallion-sesame mayo and pickled korean radishes

i made some interesting choices with these burgers. an avid lover of sticky sweet hoisin sauce, i added a spoonful before considering the consequences. it was already stirred in before i thought about the fact that these burgers were sure to burn, thanks to the sugars in the sauce. since i had already taken a wrong turn, i thought stirring in equally sugary oyster sauce seemed like a good idea. i also added in sesame seeds, which i loved - but i'm pretty sure some of those burned, too. at that point, the more the merrier, right? if you worry that the burgers charring a few minutes before they're finished will bother you, maybe think about removing these ingredients from the turkey and instead, adding the sauces to mayo. maybe.

a note about the toasted sesame seeds. i buy them from the asian markets, toasted, in large quantities and on the cheap. totally worth it.

scallion-sesame mayo

i think it's safe to say that you will have more mayonnaise than you need. that's ok - even not-so-exciting mayo has it's uses.

3 large scallions, trimmed and sliced

2 small cloves garlic, peeled and halved

2/3 cup reduced-fat mayo

1-2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil

in mini food processor, pulse scallions and garlic 10 times, or until finely chopped. add mayo, sesame oil and a pinch of kosher salt. process 30 seconds, or until well combined, scraping down sides, if necessary. taste and adjust seasoning, if desired.

shiitake turkey burgers

2 teaspoons grapeseed or canola oil

6 ounces shiitake mushrooms, stemmed and cut into 1/4" dice

1 (1-inch piece) gingerroot, peeled and finely diced

1 jalapeno, seeded and finely diced (use only half if you want to tone down the spice)

3 large cloves garlic, peeled and finely diced

3 large scallions, trimmed and thinly sliced

2 heaping tablespoons toasted sesame seeds

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 tablespoon hoisin sauce

1 tablespoon oyster sauce

1 tablespoon hot chili sauce, like sriracha

2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil

1 1/4 pounds ground dark turkey

4 buns, halved (it's a nice echo if they're sesame buns)

scallion-sesame mayo

pickled korean purple radishes, dried with a paper towel

in medium skillet over medium heat, heat oil 30 seconds, or until shimmering. add mushrooms; cook 2 minutes, or until softened, stirring often. add ginger and jalapeno; cook 1 minute, more. add garlic; cook 1 minute more, stirring constantly. remove from heat and immediately transfer to large mixing bowl. stir in scallions, sesame seeds, soy, hoisin, oyster and chili sauces and sesame oil; season gently with salt and black pepper. let cool completely.

add turkey to bowl; using hands, mix just until combined. separate into four equal patties.

heat grill or grill pan coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. add burgers. cook 10 minutes, or until cooked through and no longer pink in the center, turning once. transfer to plate. place buns on grill and cook 1 minute, or until toasted and golden brown (do yourself a favor and check them midway through in case your grill runs hot).

to assemble: place one burger on bottom of each bun. top with pickled radishes. spread top bun with mayo and place on burger. if you happen to have made baked sweet potato fries during this whole thing - all the better. put those on the other side of your plate. you may find yourself thinking the scallion-sesame mayo isn't all that bad on the tip of a fry.

black sesame marshmallows

weeks ago,

i was in h-mart,

our newest asian market find

(ok, it found us - the new store

opened its doors, a 1/2 mile

away from us, right around

the end of november).

i was buying sesame seeds

for lauren, when i saw the black

sesame seeds.

just like that,

i knew i had to have them.

because just like that,

i knew i was making

black sesame marshmallows.

it happens to me all the time:

i see something,

have an idea

and then become obsessed

until i make it work.

this time, though,

i had my doubts.

the whole car ride home -

yes, all 10 blocks -

i tossed questions larry's way:

do you think black sesame marshmallows

are a good idea? or a bad one,

and you're afraid to tell me?

how do you think i can get them to scream sesame?

do you think i can add sesame oil to the

marshmallow mixture without the entire

thing deflating? or will the droplets of sesame

oil rise to the surface? do you think the

sesame oil will make it bitter? are you excited

about sesame marshmallows?

the answers, were as follows:

yes.

no.

i don't know.

i don't know.

brooke, i don't know.

i really don't know.

yes.

and, so, i knew i had to

get to the bottom of this myself.

i read through a book about marshmallows.

i searched high and low on the internet,

only learning that, if i wanted to,

i could buy marshmallow-scented oil,

i asked two friends with culinary backgrounds.

the second one said to me,

you know what i'm going to say.

and she was right,

the only way to truly know if i could

incorporate oil into marshmallows was

to try it for myself.

finally - last week - i decided to give it a go.

colleen, and her husband, christian,

were having a housewarming party for

their new beautiful home (more on this

soon) and i had already committed

to bringing another dish.

the day after we were going to a party

at larry's parents' house, and i had something

ready for them, as well.

read: if the marshmallows were a bust,

i would not panic, nor would i need to

run around like a lunatic looking for

something else to make.

i stuck with what i knew,

using my standard recipe.

as the sugar mixture came to a boil,

i prepared the pan,

measured out the seeds,

found the vanilla extract

and then finally,

stared down the sesame oil,

sitting boldly on the counter.

somewhere in the back of my head,

i remembered that this was an experiment,

but let's be honest - i was not going to

be happy if they failed.

it was a friday night.

i was still dressed from work.

and my fingers were slightly grey from the seeds.

i was counting on this -

maybe not for colleen's party,

but for me.

i poured the hot liquid down

the side of the mixing bowl,

into the bloomed gelatin below,

and turned on the mixer.

i gave myself 12 minutes to watch

the beginning of the first episode

of project runway, willing myself

to not care about the end result -

it's just a recipe, which could be

tested 10 times before it goes right.

(i know - i've been there.)

when the marshmallows were good

and fluffy, i poured in the vanilla extract.

so far so good.

and then, i half closed my eyes,

added 2 teaspoons of sesame oil

and kept the mixer running for 30 seconds more.

the mixture looked exactly the same.

it worked!

quickly - oh, how quickly you have to work

with this sticky, sticky batter - i poured

everything into the pan, patted it down

and sprinkled the top with sesame seeds.

i grabbed a spoon

and sampled some renegade marshmallow

that had stuck to the mixer bowl.

it tasted like sesame. and larry agreed.

could it be that easy?

i guess so.

but, then, my mind wandered back

to the next step - coating.

usually, that's the step that's the most

messy. and the most fun.

you cut into shapes,

toss with a confectioners' sugar

mixture to make them stop sticking to

everything in site, and then you're done.

but this time -

i had made life considerably harder for myself.

earlier, i decided to only coat

the top with sesame seeds.

i figured that huge

black squares

would just not be so pretty.

and, it seemed kind of wrong to make something

so fluffy,

so crunchy.

and now that the top was

shiny and pretty and very dark,

i knew i had to keep them that way.

my first thought was this:

if i mixed them with ground sesame seeds,

they would stay dark all over,

but they wouldn't be as crunchy.

so i pulled out the spice grinder.

once powdered, their color was more of

a dark speckled brown. i tossed one

marshmallow in and it was clear that

this was not a workable method.

the ground sesame was clumping,

the marshmallow looked mottled

and, worse, they were still sticky.

i knew what i had to do -

there was no way to avoid it.

i added confectioners' sugar to

the ground sesame seeds, whisked

them together and then,

one by one,

coated the marshmallows,

making sure not to dunk

the sesame seed coated side

into the powder.

and it wasn't that bad.

sure, once i finished about five,

i realized that these would

be better in small bites,

and set to work quartering each,

so that instead of cutting and coating

25 squares, i cut and coated 100.

but they were the perfect size

and it just made sense.

i tried one.

and i knew that i loved them.

and larry gave them a thumb's up.

but, i still wasn't sure where the

popular vote would land.

i had two parties to find out.

and luckily, although they only

disappeared at colleen's,

they seemed successful at both -

twice prompting marshmallow conversations,

which makes me very, very happy.

because yes, so many times,

recipes need to be tweaked and played

with and perfected. but once in a while,

something just works.

and that?

is so, so nice.

black sesame marshmallows

sesame seeds can be expensive in a regular grocery store. if you have an asian market anywhere around you, head there to find them (mine were $2.99 for 8 ounces). the other great thing about buying sesame seeds from an asian market is that there, they're often sold already roasted. (can you imagine trying to roast black sesame seeds without burning them?) if you don't have a spice grinder, don't worry about adding the sesame to the confectioners' sugar coating - the addition does give the marshmallows one more level of sesame, but they'll survive without out it.

oh, and as always with marshmallows. make sure everything is ready to go - once you turn off the mixer, the marshmallows should be poured into the pan immediately.

1 cup water (plus more, if needed), divided

3 (.25 ounce) envelopes unflavored gelatin

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 cup light corn syrup

1 large pinch table salt

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 teaspoons roasted sesame oil

1/3-1/2 cup roasted black sesame seeds,

plus 2 tablespoons, divided

1 cup confectioners' sugar

coat a 9" x 9" pan very well with a thin coating of neutral flavored oil or cooking spray.

pour 1/2 cup water into bowl of electric mixer; sprinkle gelatin evenly over water. (you don't want to play around too much with the liquid, but if a lot of the gelatin is dry, sprinkle about 1 tablespoon water over the gelatin to keep it from clumping and to help it bloom.)

in heavy saucepan (i used a 3-quart), combine remaining water, sugar, corn syrup and salt. set heat to low and cook until sugar has dissolved, stirring constantly. increase heat to medium and bring to a boil, without stirring. add thermometer and boil, without stirring, until the thermometer reaches 240˚f (soft-ball stage). remove from heat and let stand 30 seconds.

meanwhile, turn mixer to medium and break up gelatin. reduce speed to low. with mixer running, carefully pour hot sugar mixture in a steady stream down the side of the bowl. increase heat to high and beat 12-14 minutes, or until mixture is very thick (make sure your bowl is locked into place). reduce speed to low and pour in vanilla extract, then sesame oil. increase speed and beat 30 seconds more, or until combined.

immediately transfer marshmallow mixture to prepared pan. wet hands with cold water and smooth the top of the marshmallow. dry hands. sprinkle sesame seeds over top of marshmallow to cover, pressing lightly. let sit, uncovered, at least 2 hours.

to make coating and to coat:

in spice grinder, process remaining 2 tablespoons black sesame seeds until finely ground. in small bowl, whisk together ground seeds and confectioners' sugar.

using lightly oiled bench scraper (or you can coat the scraper with cooking spray), cut marshmallows into 100 squares, re-oiling bench scraper as needed. or, cut marshmallows into desired shape and size. add marshmallows, one or two pieces at a time, to confectioners' sugar mixture, coating every side except for the black sesame top. pat off excess sugar.

store marshmallows at room temperature in a sealed container.