black sesame marshmallows

weeks ago,

i was in h-mart,

our newest asian market find

(ok, it found us - the new store

opened its doors, a 1/2 mile

away from us, right around

the end of november).

i was buying sesame seeds

for lauren, when i saw the black

sesame seeds.

just like that,

i knew i had to have them.

because just like that,

i knew i was making

black sesame marshmallows.

it happens to me all the time:

i see something,

have an idea

and then become obsessed

until i make it work.

this time, though,

i had my doubts.

the whole car ride home -

yes, all 10 blocks -

i tossed questions larry's way:

do you think black sesame marshmallows

are a good idea? or a bad one,

and you're afraid to tell me?

how do you think i can get them to scream sesame?

do you think i can add sesame oil to the

marshmallow mixture without the entire

thing deflating? or will the droplets of sesame

oil rise to the surface? do you think the

sesame oil will make it bitter? are you excited

about sesame marshmallows?

the answers, were as follows:

yes.

no.

i don't know.

i don't know.

brooke, i don't know.

i really don't know.

yes.

and, so, i knew i had to

get to the bottom of this myself.

i read through a book about marshmallows.

i searched high and low on the internet,

only learning that, if i wanted to,

i could buy marshmallow-scented oil,

i asked two friends with culinary backgrounds.

the second one said to me,

you know what i'm going to say.

and she was right,

the only way to truly know if i could

incorporate oil into marshmallows was

to try it for myself.

finally - last week - i decided to give it a go.

colleen, and her husband, christian,

were having a housewarming party for

their new beautiful home (more on this

soon) and i had already committed

to bringing another dish.

the day after we were going to a party

at larry's parents' house, and i had something

ready for them, as well.

read: if the marshmallows were a bust,

i would not panic, nor would i need to

run around like a lunatic looking for

something else to make.

i stuck with what i knew,

using my standard recipe.

as the sugar mixture came to a boil,

i prepared the pan,

measured out the seeds,

found the vanilla extract

and then finally,

stared down the sesame oil,

sitting boldly on the counter.

somewhere in the back of my head,

i remembered that this was an experiment,

but let's be honest - i was not going to

be happy if they failed.

it was a friday night.

i was still dressed from work.

and my fingers were slightly grey from the seeds.

i was counting on this -

maybe not for colleen's party,

but for me.

i poured the hot liquid down

the side of the mixing bowl,

into the bloomed gelatin below,

and turned on the mixer.

i gave myself 12 minutes to watch

the beginning of the first episode

of project runway, willing myself

to not care about the end result -

it's just a recipe, which could be

tested 10 times before it goes right.

(i know - i've been there.)

when the marshmallows were good

and fluffy, i poured in the vanilla extract.

so far so good.

and then, i half closed my eyes,

added 2 teaspoons of sesame oil

and kept the mixer running for 30 seconds more.

the mixture looked exactly the same.

it worked!

quickly - oh, how quickly you have to work

with this sticky, sticky batter - i poured

everything into the pan, patted it down

and sprinkled the top with sesame seeds.

i grabbed a spoon

and sampled some renegade marshmallow

that had stuck to the mixer bowl.

it tasted like sesame. and larry agreed.

could it be that easy?

i guess so.

but, then, my mind wandered back

to the next step - coating.

usually, that's the step that's the most

messy. and the most fun.

you cut into shapes,

toss with a confectioners' sugar

mixture to make them stop sticking to

everything in site, and then you're done.

but this time -

i had made life considerably harder for myself.

earlier, i decided to only coat

the top with sesame seeds.

i figured that huge

black squares

would just not be so pretty.

and, it seemed kind of wrong to make something

so fluffy,

so crunchy.

and now that the top was

shiny and pretty and very dark,

i knew i had to keep them that way.

my first thought was this:

if i mixed them with ground sesame seeds,

they would stay dark all over,

but they wouldn't be as crunchy.

so i pulled out the spice grinder.

once powdered, their color was more of

a dark speckled brown. i tossed one

marshmallow in and it was clear that

this was not a workable method.

the ground sesame was clumping,

the marshmallow looked mottled

and, worse, they were still sticky.

i knew what i had to do -

there was no way to avoid it.

i added confectioners' sugar to

the ground sesame seeds, whisked

them together and then,

one by one,

coated the marshmallows,

making sure not to dunk

the sesame seed coated side

into the powder.

and it wasn't that bad.

sure, once i finished about five,

i realized that these would

be better in small bites,

and set to work quartering each,

so that instead of cutting and coating

25 squares, i cut and coated 100.

but they were the perfect size

and it just made sense.

i tried one.

and i knew that i loved them.

and larry gave them a thumb's up.

but, i still wasn't sure where the

popular vote would land.

i had two parties to find out.

and luckily, although they only

disappeared at colleen's,

they seemed successful at both -

twice prompting marshmallow conversations,

which makes me very, very happy.

because yes, so many times,

recipes need to be tweaked and played

with and perfected. but once in a while,

something just works.

and that?

is so, so nice.

black sesame marshmallows

sesame seeds can be expensive in a regular grocery store. if you have an asian market anywhere around you, head there to find them (mine were $2.99 for 8 ounces). the other great thing about buying sesame seeds from an asian market is that there, they're often sold already roasted. (can you imagine trying to roast black sesame seeds without burning them?) if you don't have a spice grinder, don't worry about adding the sesame to the confectioners' sugar coating - the addition does give the marshmallows one more level of sesame, but they'll survive without out it.

oh, and as always with marshmallows. make sure everything is ready to go - once you turn off the mixer, the marshmallows should be poured into the pan immediately.

1 cup water (plus more, if needed), divided

3 (.25 ounce) envelopes unflavored gelatin

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 cup light corn syrup

1 large pinch table salt

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 teaspoons roasted sesame oil

1/3-1/2 cup roasted black sesame seeds,

plus 2 tablespoons, divided

1 cup confectioners' sugar

coat a 9" x 9" pan very well with a thin coating of neutral flavored oil or cooking spray.

pour 1/2 cup water into bowl of electric mixer; sprinkle gelatin evenly over water. (you don't want to play around too much with the liquid, but if a lot of the gelatin is dry, sprinkle about 1 tablespoon water over the gelatin to keep it from clumping and to help it bloom.)

in heavy saucepan (i used a 3-quart), combine remaining water, sugar, corn syrup and salt. set heat to low and cook until sugar has dissolved, stirring constantly. increase heat to medium and bring to a boil, without stirring. add thermometer and boil, without stirring, until the thermometer reaches 240˚f (soft-ball stage). remove from heat and let stand 30 seconds.

meanwhile, turn mixer to medium and break up gelatin. reduce speed to low. with mixer running, carefully pour hot sugar mixture in a steady stream down the side of the bowl. increase heat to high and beat 12-14 minutes, or until mixture is very thick (make sure your bowl is locked into place). reduce speed to low and pour in vanilla extract, then sesame oil. increase speed and beat 30 seconds more, or until combined.

immediately transfer marshmallow mixture to prepared pan. wet hands with cold water and smooth the top of the marshmallow. dry hands. sprinkle sesame seeds over top of marshmallow to cover, pressing lightly. let sit, uncovered, at least 2 hours.

to make coating and to coat:

in spice grinder, process remaining 2 tablespoons black sesame seeds until finely ground. in small bowl, whisk together ground seeds and confectioners' sugar.

using lightly oiled bench scraper (or you can coat the scraper with cooking spray), cut marshmallows into 100 squares, re-oiling bench scraper as needed. or, cut marshmallows into desired shape and size. add marshmallows, one or two pieces at a time, to confectioners' sugar mixture, coating every side except for the black sesame top. pat off excess sugar.

store marshmallows at room temperature in a sealed container.

so lucky

so remember the marshmallows?

the ones that i botched and had to pry

free from a cutting board,

cursing myself in the process?

well, it turns out that little incident

didn't matter - they must have still tasted

a little sweet, slightly spiced, a bit chocolatey,

light and airy, just like i intended,

because the squares have been chosen

as a finalist in this week's contest on food52.

if you remember how much

i love making marshmallows,

then you know what it means to me

that they are even under consideration for

the cookbook. another highlight: in

their description of the recipe, amanda

and merrill said that they had fun

making them. that made my day.

you can find the recipe here.

making a memory

sometimes, i consider myself a food person,

someone who knows about trendy ingredients,

the latest gadgets

and the must-visit restaurants.

somebody who likes a lot of different

foods, but is not overly impressed

by everything she eats,

because, she, unfortunately, is a bit particular.

and other times,

i feel like i'm the newest girl on

the culinary block

(proof: i started this blog

about 5 years too late),

shocked by a new kitchen technique,

or truth be told,

an old classic.

scared to try,

yet so intrigued, i can think of little else.

that's how i felt the first time

i learned i could make

marshmallows.

we were in school.

it was the fourth module:

pastry.

i had been looking forward

to this section from the

beginning, knowing, there

wouldn't be any lamb

and that it was where i would

really thrive

(i forgot that pastry requires

a lot of precision for piping, frosting,

dolloping, slicing).

one very, very hard and, i think,

angry, instructor later, i was counting

down the days for the module to

end. i know. it's a familiar story.

but then, during the candy weekend, we

were taught to make

marshmallows -

which we learned were

quite prized in europe and often

brought to restaurant tables in long strips,

before they were

cut into individual squares

for diners,

using fancy marshmallow scissors.

i was instantly smitten by

the idea,

the process,

the whole thing.

before we even made the first

batch, i felt a connection

to marshmallows that i've

never before felt.

sure, i like a good

s'more. so much so

in fact, that we served

them at our wedding.

i did love that when you

add heat -

from an open flame,

a microwave

or an oven,

they change from

a solid, decent-tasting

sweet into a drippy,

sticky, caramelized

mass that seems

determined to make

you smile or swoon.

and i loved that they

usually are associated with

stories, like how in

camp as a child,

we counted

down to the

one day each summer

in which nature class

was not a seemingly boring

exploration of caged bugs

and birds,

but a time that we would

collect sticks, build a small

fire and in the middle of the

day, char a stickfull.

or how my youngest sister

went through a very long

s'more phase and because

it spanned over winter

months, settled for placing

marshmallows on top of

graham crackers and chocolate

chips and microwaving them

for 25 seconds. every time, she

waited until the very last

second before yanking open

the microwave door and watching

the now huge and 

about-to-burst marshmallow

collapse atop the grahams.

all that, but i never really

thought about or cared about

the marshmallow itself.

that day in class,

my partner and i were assigned

rose water marshmallows,

which was the one i was secretly

crosing my fingers not to

have to make, but we got it

and we made it

and i still loved everything

about boiling the mixture,

beating it into fluff

and once smoothed,

letting it sit and cure

before cutting.

(and even after, when a jerk

in my class of adults

dumped a whole

bowl of tempered chocolate

onto them, just because,

it didn't damper my enthusiasm.)

i realized how amazing

marshmallows can be when

they're freshly prepared, using

excellent ingredients. i realized

that they're at once

artisan and rustic.

and i realized that even if my squares

weren't perfectly cut,

no one cared after one bite.

and so, even though i promised myself

that once i left culinary school

i would:

braise everything all winter long,

always make my own chicken stock

and

use as many pots as needed

no matter how much of a mess 

it makes,

making marshmallows

was one of the very few

promises i abided by.

and i still do.

i swear by marshmallows,

a book that boasts combinations

like pear honey and 

sweet potato spice.

i've made absolutely scrumptious

brownies from one of my favorite

cookbooks,

demolition desserts,

using homemade marshmallows

and homemade graham crackers

and i constantly search for new

recipes.

this one, featured 

about a year and a half

ago in gourmet, was one of the simplest.

if you've never made marshmallows

before, i strongly 

recommend that you start with this 

relatively simple recipe.

i hope that if you try a batch,

you love to make them as much 

as i do.

but i give you this recipe

and this story,

fully aware that feeling

like marshmallows may be your calling, 

like marshmallows may be the one thing

you feel a true connection to in the kitchen

is kind of weird and 

probably not for everyone.

and in that case, 

i hope you just like

eating them. 

and, that you have a wooded area

nearby so that you can 

pick a stick, 

light a (safe) fire

and create your own s'more memories.

toasted coconut marshmallows

adapted from gourmet magazine

i know that coconut is not everyone's favorite and i haven't tried  it yet, but i have to believe that you could substitute finely crushed almonds or ground chocolate for the coating. or, if you want plain marshmallows, mix together two parts confectioners' sugar and one part cornstarch. don't coat the pan with this mixture. instead, once they're firm, toss the entire marshmallow in. they are so unbelievably sticky before they're coated - but don't worry, the coatings have an impressive effect on them. also, like many candies, it's best to make marshmallows on a dry day.

if you become serious about marshmallow (or candy) making, a battery-operated thermometer is a great tool that beeps so that you don't have to stand and stare and give yourself an inadvertant facial waiting for the syrup to come to temperature.

2 cups unsweetened dried coconut

3 (1/4 oz.) envelopes unflavored gelatin

1 cup water, divided

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 cup light corn syrup

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

place oven rack in center of oven. heat oven to 350˚f.

place coconut in shallow baking pan; place in oven and bake 7 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until golden brown. oil bottom and sides of 9x9 baking pan with 1/2 cup toasted coconut. set aside. place 1/2 cup water in bowl of electric stand mixer; sprinkle gelatin over water.

in saucepot over low heat, combine sugar, corn syrup, salt and remaining water; stir until sugar dissolves. bring mixture to a boil over medium heat, without stirring. using moist pastry brush, wash down any sugar crystals that appear on the side of the pan. put thermometer into syrup and cook (without stirring) until thermometer registers 240˚f. remove from heat and let stand until bubbles dissipate.

turn mixer onto low speed. in a slow steady speed, carefully pour hot syrup into gelatin mixture. increase speed to high and beat 15 minutes, or until very thick. add vanilla extract and beat 1 minute more.

immediately pour marshmallow mixture into prepared pan and press with dampened fingers to smooth the top. sprinkle with 1/2 cup toasted coconut. let stand uncovered 2 hours, or until firm.

run a sharp knife around the edge of pan; invert onto cutting board. cut into 3/4" wide strips and then cut into 3/4" squares. toss marshmallows in coconut (in small batches) to coat completely. i like to dip all sides one at a time.

*we were so lucky to find kella macphee, our wedding photographer, who took both beautiful and memorable pictures at our reception. she took the second two pictures in this post, the blazing marshmallow and us, making our own s'mores.

*the first picture of the marshmallows came from my mom's house. she was forced to deal with me, carrying a plastic container of marshmallows, asking for her camera and then ransacking her cabinets for interesting or colorful dishes, all before i took my coat off. we decided to go with her huge white corian dining room table. different, but fun, i think.