on jalapeno tequila and finding the one

lately, i've noticed myself starting

sentences with the phrase,

i wish i were the kind of girl who...

the endings vary:

...loved watching football.

...would choose whisky over wine.

...was the life of the party.

...takes life as it comes.

...loves action and science fiction movies.

...drank cocktails.

yes, i know, i know. 

you should accept who you are

and embrace your individuality.

you should never wish to be 

someone else.

you should just...be.

but, my goodness, how much easier

would my life be every september

if i looked forward to football as 

much as larry, if i belonged to two

or three fantasy leagues, myself, and for just 

once, i would understand what everyone

else was yelling about when someone

didn't make it past the 10 yard line?

there are some things that you can't make happen.

i often take a sip of larry's scotch,

thinking that maybe this one -

because he calls it peaty or some other

word that sounds like nonsense to me -

will be the one who makes me realize i can hang

at a whisky bar. 

it doesn't work.

but, then there are other things that i think

i can influence. like cocktails.

over the years, i've meandered back and forth

from sticking with my one glass of pinot noir,

to trying to love those trendy drinks that

come in highballs or martini glasses:

cosmos,

mojitos,

rum and cokes.

occasionally, i've enjoyed 

a bellini

or

a gin gimlet that's heavy on the lime.

i'm strangely envious of people who have

"a drink." i want to be someone who

owns her cocktail. usually, though,

i'm just someone who owns her bottle

of red. and as someone who has never been

a big drinker anyway, it's hard to readjust.

i think that's why i was so drawn

to the recipe for the jalapeno tequila gimlet,

in the july issue of bon appetit.

two years ago, when we were out with

colleen and christian, at a restaurant in

asbury park, larry ordered a jalapeno margarita.

i had a sip, which burned my whole mouth.

i was glad i didn't order it. a few minutes later, i

reached in for another sip. my mouth was on fire.

but, after a few minutes, i went back in, ignoring

the looks that larry was giving me for hijacking

his drink. when i saw this recipe,

i had spicy flashbacks.

larry was surprised when i asked him if we had

tequila. (for a home of people who generally drink 

two things - wine and bourbon - we house

a surprisingly large collection of bottles.)
we had two. and luckily, one happened to be blanco,
which was what this recipe called for.



one day, on a friday that i was home,
i blistered two jalapenos under the broiler 
until they were
tender through and through,
but brown and crispy on the top.
after careful consideration, i seeded
the hot peppers, chopped them up and
tossed them into a glass bowl filled
with tequila. and then, even though
i had seriously thought it out beforehand,
scolded myself for being a chicken.
the recipe called for the jalapenos with 
their seeds and if i opted to remove them
and then drank a spice-less drink later,
it would be on me. but, what if it was
so spicy that i was miserable?
i compromised with the seeds
of the larger pepper.


i juiced six limes,
shocked that i ended up
with exactly one cup.

that night, i pulled the strained tequila
and the lime juice from the fridge, 
plus a bit of agave.
i stirred them altogether,
with some ice cubes and waited.
i waited more for the ice cubes to
dissolve as instructed in the recipe.
larry came home from work,
changed, went down into the basement
and came back up with a bottle of bourbon.
what. are. you. doing?
bourbon was in one hand,
the recipe for that night's dinner
in the other - i don't think he knew how
to answer the question, or
more specifically, where he went wrong.

i've been making this cocktail for you all day,
i countered.
he looked unconvinced: i think you 
were making this for you. but, ok,
i'm ready.

i sighed.
your cocktail is not, i told him.
the ice cubes still have to melt.
he sighed, but he put the bourbon
back in the basement and started making dinner.
when it was finally time,
i poured the tequila gimlet - 
the drink i was so excited about because
it combined several things:
the drink i can sometimes stomach (a gimlet),
lime juice
and roasted jalapenos -
into a glass,
garnished it with lime and took a sip.
it was a margarita.
i had made a spicy margarita.

how had i not realized this before?
had i been too blinded by the
fancy word gimlet 
and the roasted jalapenos?

the drink was good.
it was spicy and limey and
everything, but it was still a
margarita. and frankly, me and margaritas
are at best casual acquaintances who,
with the exception of random nights
at an excellent mexican restaurant, 
tolerate each other.

we both drank it.
and it was nice and different and fine.
but the next day, i woke up thinking
about the other half of the 
jalapeno tequila sitting in the fridge.
i wasn't ready to give up on it.

it took me two days to stumble upon
a bottle of diet tonic water in the store
and think that maybe that was the answer.
it took me two more weeks to find a night
to mix it all together, 
half casually,
half mad scientist on a mission.

i started with a little agave,
added a little lime,
poured in the tequila, 
added ice cubes and topped the
whole glass with the tonic.
sadly, i don't think it struck
me until after that it was
very,
very
similar to the original.

but when i took a sip,
i knew i had stumbled upon...
something.
this was my drink.
ok, even now, i know that's
not true.
this may be my once a 
year drink because frankly,
i know myself well enough to
know that i am not going to
roast jalapenos toss them into
tequila very often.

but, this drink.
it was spicy - i'm thinking
extra spicy thanks to the two
weeks of sitting and probably
partially evaporating -
but it was also light and interesting
and not so serious.

this weekend,
with less than one quarter of the tequila remaining,
i set out to recreate.
it took some tinkering,
but i think it was pretty close to the drink 
that i had made a week before.
i sipped on it proudly,
trying not to second guess the amount
of lime, trying to not decide if 
as barely-a-drinker-turned-bartender,
i had added too much tequila to a drink
for one and decided to just, be.

roasted jalapeno tequila
adapted from bon appetit magazine
the one thing i really have to say about this is that, obviously, if your jalapenos aren't spicy, your tequila will not be spicy. it's the luck of the draw. but, i would taste the roasted jalapeno before adding it the tequila. if it's not spicy, i would hold off on making it.

2 jalapenos
2 cups tequila blanco

heat broiler, grill or the flame on your stove top. place jalapeno on grill, on broiler pan or on flame and cook 3-6 minutes, or until jalapenos are soft and blistered, turning often. when cool enough to handle, seed jalapenos, if desired. chop jalapenos. transfer jalapenos and seeds (if using) to a glass bowl or jar with tequila. stir to combine. let sit 1 hour. strain tequila into a sieve set over a pitcher, pressing on solids to release extra liquid. discard solids.

roasted jalapeno tequila cooler
at this point in my life, i'm using diet tonic water. if that makes you sad, go with regular tonic.

2 teaspoons agave
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice, plus squeezed lime halves
1/3 cup roasted jalapeno tequila
handful of ice cubes
1/2-3/4 cup diet tonic water

in large glass, stir together agave, lime juice and tequila. add ice cubes and squeezed lime. top with 1/2 cup tonic water. stir gently, just to combine. taste and add up to 1/4 cup more tonic water, if desired.

jalapeno tequila gimlet
adapted from bon appetit magazine
the one change i made to this recipe was to reduce the agave from 1/2 cup to 2 tablespoons. i'm sure it would have been tastier with more, but i didn't miss the extra sweetness.

2 cups roasted jalapeno tequila
2 cups ice cubes
1 cup fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons agave

in pitcher, stir together all ingredients. let stand until ice cubes have melted, stirring occasionally. divide gimlet among 4 to 8 glasses, depending on your crowd.

an (almost) 20 minute trio

this weekend, we had our friends, lauren and jon, 

over to watch the super bowl.

it was the second year in a row, 

that we held

our party for four.

in 2008, the giants were playing (see, i remembered!),

and it was a very serious day in our house.

i planned meticulously 

and went all out, football-style:

spicy sweet glazed wings

garlic rubbed potato skins

scallion-cayenne-lime dip

macaroni and cheese

and 

peanut butter mousse with grape fluff

(ok, that last one wasn't really 

sportsy 

or tough,

or manly,

but, i was in a marshmallow/fluff phase and

determined to try out a new recipe when faced

with a ready and willing audience.)

this year, however, was a whole different story:

the giants didn't make it,

i kind of knew who was playing 

and i guess i sort of gave the meal thought on friday,

when i picked up tomatillos, limes, a jalapeno and avocados.

but that was it.

i woke up sunday morning 

sans plan, 

a pit in my stomach

and a determination not to repeat

last year's menu.

an hour later, i was pretty sure 

that i was destined to call lauren

at 5 pm, apologize and beg her

to pick up a pizza.

the morning was spent, wracking my brain - useless

the computer - overwhelming

and larry - no wings? really?

i briefly contemplated 

chili - chicken, vegetable and cornbread-topped,

make-your-own quesadillas, tostadas and sandwiches

before finally landing, thank goodness,

on mexican lasagna.

it was simple, i could assemble ahead of time,

bake when they got there, serve from one dish,

and most importantly, make use of the ingredients 

i had purchased two days before. because really,

what i love most about cooking for friends, 

are the appetizers

and the desserts.

the meal, in between, often gets lost for me, even though

i feel a ridiculously strong pull to match my courses.

so, after spending literally hours planning,

and taking a trip to the store to fight other last minute shoppers

lingering extra long in the chip aisle and staring at shrimp rings,

i braced myself to make the three appetizers,

all dips: 

roasted tomatillo salsa

smoky black bean

guacamole.

they were so simple that it was over fast, and i thought, 

as i often do, why don't i just plan the 

main meal around the starters? (next year, someone remind me, please.)

because it just made sense

that while i was roasting quartered tomatillos, roughly chopped onion pieces,

garlic cloves and a jalapeno for the salsa,

that i should throw

the ingredients for the black bean dip in the food processor. 

by the time i had tasted and tweaked the beans, then tasted and tweaked some more, 

the vegetables were beautifully browned and salsa-ready.

when combined, the beans offered just enough mellowness 

that you feel you're eating something simple, 

smooth and hearty and easy-going, 

with a back heat that makes you want more and 

start to believe

that you're noshing on something special.

and the salsa,

while deep in flavor, thanks to the roasted vegetable-only 

mixture, offers a bright

note that you can only achieve by blending

them with an additional dose of raw onions and garlic 

and, of course,

lime juice.

and, the guacamole.

please, if you take anything away from this super bowl saga,

let it be this:

it is so, so, so easy to make your own guacamole.

there's no need to buy a seasoning packet or 

pick up a ready-made container.

i swear it took me 5 minutes total for a from-scratch batch

and i've been accused of being a slow-poke in the kitchen.

they were a hit 

(i heard better than the jar murmurs).

and when it was time to serve

the lasagna,

i looked around and thought,

sure, it's probably better that i didn't expect

my guests to snack on chips all night,

but, truth be told,

we probably didn't even need 

the bubbly dish.

these are all often-made, off-the-cuff recipes that i tried to quantify. but as usual, for recipes like these, have fun adding a little more garlic, cutting back on the lime juice or mixing in an something - like scallions, maybe - that you're crazy about. a lot of them, luckily, use similar ingredients, so you can get away with buying 1 bunch of cilantro, extra large onions or tomatoes instead of the medium ones specified and squeezing a couple of limes at once so that you don't have to torture the cut, which inevitably seems to appear on your finger when you're handling citrus, multiple times throughout the day.

smoky black bean 

smoked paprika is our new favorite spice. its reminiscent of the seasoning on barbecue potato chips (in a good way, i think) and, since we've discovered it, has really helped improve the flavor of many dishes. i think it was made just to be paired with black beans.

1 medium tomato, cored and chopped

1/2 medium onion, peeled and chopped

1/4 cup chopped cilantro (washed and dried)

2 cloves garlic, peeled and halved

1 lime, juiced

2 cans black beans, drained and rinsed

1-2 Tbs. hot sauce, depending on your taste and heat of your sauce (I used Goya)

1 1/2 Tbs. ground cumin

1 Tbs. smoked paprika

In bowl of food processor, combine chopped tomato, onion, cilantro, garlic and lime juice; sprinkle with a dash of kosher salt. Pulse just until chopped. Add black beans, hot sauce, ground cumin and smoked paprika. Run food processor until mixture is smooth. Season with salt. Taste; add more cumin, smoked paprika, hot sauce, lime juice or salt, until it suits your taste. Transfer mixture to a bowl; cover and keep in the fridge until ready to serve. Can be made 1 day ahead. 

roasted tomatilla salsa

i swear, it wasn't until i started this blog that i realized how much i adore roasting and more roasting. but, plain and simple, i think it's the answer to making questionable or out-of-season vegetables seem decadent and a way to truly deepen their flavor. this salsa, is not the kind of loose slip-off-the-chip type you may be used to. rather, because the only real liquid is lime juice, it's firmer and much more likely to show a dent when a bit is scooped from the bowl. if you're in the market for a pourable version, simply add a 1/4 to 1/2 cup chicken broth, vegetable broth or water before blending.

8-10 tomatillos

1 small onion, peeled, halved and divided

1 jalapeno, halved and seeded (keep the seeds in if you like it spicy)

5 cloves garlic, peeled, ends trimmed and divided

1/4 cup cilantro (washed and dried)

1/2 lime, juiced

Heat oven to 400˚F. Remove papery husks from tomatillos; rinse under running water to remove the sticky residue. Quater tomatillos; place on foil-lined baking sheet coated with cooking spray or olive oil. Chop onion. Place half chopped onion on baking sheet; reserve other half. Add halved jalapeno and 4 whole garlic cloves to baking sheet. Coat with cooking spray or drizzle lightly with olive oil. Roast 20 min., or until slightly brown and sizzling. Let cool slightly. Transfer vegetables to blender. Add remaining chopped onion, remaining garlic clove, cilantro and lime juice. Blend until combined. Season with salt. Taste and adjust seasoning, adding extra onion, garlic, cilantro, lime juice or salt to suit your taste. Transfer to bowl.

guacamole

when choosing an avocado, pick one that is deep green and gives a little when you push with your thumb. if there is little or no resistance, that one's not for you. i like chunky mixtures best and i find that when the avocado is really ripe, they collapse easily under your fork and leave little texture. also, it's lucky that this comes together so fast because you really want to serve it just after it's made to keep the guac from browning in front of your guests. if you're worried about timing, chop and juice the other ingredients earlier in the day.

2 ripe avocados

1 medium tomato, cored, halved, seeded and chopped

1/2 small red or yellow onion, peeled chopped

1 lime, juiced

1/2 jalapeno, seeded and finely chopped (this is up to you - if you worry about the spice, leave it out)

Halve avocados. Place the halves with the pits on a cutting board. Using sharp knife (and being very careful), whack the inner pit, twist the knife and pull; discard pits. Using spoon, scoop avocado flesh from skin and place in a mixing bowl. Using back of fork, mash avocado to desired consistency, making sure to leave pieces in tact. Gently mix in chopped onion, tomato and jalapeno, if using. Stir in lime juice; season with salt. Taste and adjust.